


Refocusing Their Universe

by Lanceisthebest



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Denial, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Family, Family Drama, High School, M/M, Mutual Pining, Party, Pining, Pining Keith (Voltron), Pining Lance (Voltron), Questioning, Slow Build, Slow Burn, USERNAME CHANGE FROM SUPERNATSIRIUS TO LANCEISTHEBEST, bi lance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-04-20
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-04-25 15:03:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 31,274
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14381166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lanceisthebest/pseuds/Lanceisthebest
Summary: In their junior years of high school, Lance and Keith have their own wars to fight. As Lance tries to sort out his feelings after kissing a boy at a party, Keith is trying to get through life with a new living situation. The two have differing views of the universe and they both ignore their problems instead of facing them head on. After the two meet and their relationship goes further than anticipated, complications arise and they find their problems inescapable. With each other as a lifeline, the two go through the motions of high school and teach each other the beauty in the universe and in themselves.





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, new fic ;0 this is just the prologue; all the other chapters will be much longer. I'm having a great time writing this thing and i think you guys will love it. Very emotional but still pretty funny. Enjoy!

The sun shone down it’s warmth on Lances face. Through squinted eyes he peared up and made shapes with the clouds above him. He filled his mind with the comforting light blue of the sky as he ripped grass up from the earth floor his back was laid down upon. He smelled whatever food his Mother was serving up for dinner and he knew he’d be called in soon.

He saw the universe, and he wasn’t there. He was able to observe the warmth and scent and colors of the world he lived in, and with such a big world to observe there was really no point in being there. He was obsolete. He wasn’t there, and neither was pestering thoughts of school starting up again and the events of that party he went to a few nights ago. 

He could focus on the universe and ignore himself. That’s why he loved where he was, and that’s why he dreaded having to leave for school, where he’d have to remember that he too was apart of the universe he was trying so hard to forget himself in.

“Lance! Come inside!” his mom called. Lance could hear the sound of plates being placed on their large dining room table. 

Lance got up off the ground. He took in one more breath of fresh air before joining his family. 

\------

Keith closed his eyes as he laid in his dark, small room. His hands lightly clamped on the light blanket he was on top of. He opened his eyes to observe not much more than what he’d seen with them closed. His room was bland and undecorated; it would look like an unused guest room to anyone else who walked in. 

Keith liked it like that. He was able to escape in that room. He wasn’t trying to escaping anything in particular, except the universe. The world, the people in it, his situation… maybe he was trying to escape a few specific things. 

In that dark, undecorated, cramped room, there was _nothing_ but himself. He was the only thing there, and the universe wasn’t welcome. The universe with his shit parents and nonexistent friends. Yeah, that universe wasn’t getting into his room anytime soon. 

It was just him there. He could focus on himself and ignore the universe. That’s why he loved it there.

“Dinner!” Shiro called, though Keith wouldn’t classify ramen and minute ready rice as ‘dinner’. 

Keith closed his eyes for a few more seconds. Then, he got up, opened his door, and walked into the universe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> next chapter will be up in like 2 weeks, so make sure to subscribe/bookmark. Like i said, each chapter after this (minus the epilogue) will be longer, about 15k words each. Please give kudos and comment, i love feedback :)
> 
> tumblr: [Lanceisthebest](https://lanceisthebest.tumblr.com/)


	2. Summer's Gone; Lions in Bedrooms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As Lance misses summer, he thinks more and more about a particular encounter at a party he attended. To counter this, he goes on a date with a mutual friend of Allura's. Keith has to deal with people asking questions about his living situation, which he would rather not discuss. School starting up again has made the situation his parents caused to be undeniable. 
> 
> The two meet in biology class, thus starting a confusing rivalry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sry for the longish wait, but I hope you guys like this chapter. I had a lot of fun writing it and i'm super excited to keep writing the story. 
> 
> (this gets pretty self explanatory but Captial letters indicate text messages, "--------" shows a change in POV and three spaces show a scene change)

Lance woke up to another hot day. 

He kicked his light blanket off as he took in a breath of heavy air. A few bugs flew around his room, his bedroom window having been open all night. 

One of his favorite places to go was the roof, to his mother's dismay, so he eventually stopped putting the screen back up. He paid the price for that as he scratched at a mosquito bite on his wrist. As annoying as they were, he’d miss the suckers when the air turned crisp.

After pulling on an oversized shirt to complete his outfit of boxers and slippers, he made his way downstairs where he smelled coffee brewing. His mother bounced around the kitchen, going from flipping pancakes to pouring coffee and juice. Lance knew she was preparing for the oncoming storm that was his siblings. He forever thanked himself that he tended to wake up before them, which allowed him to avoid that storm most mornings. 

The two exchanged greetings as Lance helped his mom out and poured coffee. 

“My last breakfast as a free man,” Lance said. “From here on out it’s rushing out of the house at 6:30 AM to catch the bus.” 

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Lance’s mom replied. “This school year is the same as any other. Besides, you’ll have your license in another two month.” 

“I know, but what can i say? I’m a showman. I need to make a big deal out of everything.” 

His mom smiled and slid Lance his cup. “You’re definitely my son.” 

Lance loved his mom. Hating parents seemed to be some unifying force amongst teens his age, but unfortunately Lance was out of the loop there.

His mom was a pretty esteemed landscaper and always came home smelling of soil. She always brought home flowers, as well. In his 16 years of life, Lance had never once seen an empty vase in their house. She moved from Cuba to suburban New York when she was ten years old and met Lance's dad in high school.

Lance's dad was a computer engineer and worked in the city most of the work week. He wasn’t around as much as Lance's mom, but when he was, the house was buzzing with energy. He was that kind of guy; one who could start a party just by entering the room. He came from a Cuban family as well, which made Lance’s Abuelita on his mother's side very happy.

They broke up when Lance's dad went away for college. When he moved back to the area he reconnected with Lance’s mom. They got married a few years later, had four kids, moved into a big house, and moved up the ladder at their individual jobs. Life worked out pretty well for them.

“Uh oh,” Lance exclaimed. “I think I hear the upstairs floorboards creaking. I’m gonna head out before I have to, you know, converse with my siblings.” 

“Wait, where are you going?” 

Lance opened the back door and stepped out. “Wherever summer takes me, Mom. Wherever summer takes me.” 

Where summer took him was Walgreens. 

“The real question is: Should I get the mechanical pencils or the regular ones?” Pidge asked. 

Hunk crossed his arms. “Mechanical pencils all the way.” 

“You guys take school supplies way too seriously,” Lance deadpanned. 

“Buying school supplies is the best and only good thing about the end of summer,” Hunk said with passion and authority. “If you don’t understand that... then you’re not a normal person.” 

“Then I guess i’m not a normal person,”

“Yeah, we can tell,” Pidge said with a smirk.

Lance had known Hunk for years. They went to the same daycare and after Hunk had shared his legos with Lance, a lifelong friendship blossomed. Hunk was a great friend and always had a plate of cookies ready, a shoulder to cry on, and beautifully completed math homework to copy off of. 

Pidge was a newer friend. Lance and Hunk were in the same gym class as her sophomore year. She was a grade younger than them. After conquering at kickball, the three took their friendship out of the gym and into the world.

After perusing the isles of Walgreens to finish their shopping, the three walked back to Lance’s house. Pidge kept pretending to jump into the road whenever a car came, which stressed Hunk out beyond belief but made Lance laugh. The three also got into a pinecone fight. Getting pelted with pinecones by a skinny fourteen year old hurts more than you’d think.

After they got back to Lance’s house and settled themselves in his backyard, they got to reminiscing about the past few summer months. 

“How would you guys rate this summer on a scale from one to ten?” Hunk asked. 

“I’d say a sevenish,” Pidge said. “I had too much homework.” 

“A sevenish for me, too,” Hunk said. 

“Why?” Pidge asked, 

“I dunno. I’m just getting sevenish vibes.” 

Lance thought about the question longer than his friends did. As for summer itself, Lance loved basically every day of it. Humid air would surround him as he played in the streets with his neighbors; cold drinks dripped condensation down their sides; a feeling of invincibility was around Lance as he breathed in the clear air. It was like nothing could touch him in his little aura of happiness.

Not only the hot days, but the cool nights were great as well. Lance would look at the stars overhead as he and his body cooled off from the warm day; he’d get icecream with his friends and family; he would sit on his roof and hear the bugs chirp… Nothing was better than that. 

There was something that penetrated that summer aura, though. Something that had happened at a party. Something Lance hadn’t told anyone about, though he was unsure as to why. That thing… it felt like someone came up behind him and knocked him out of his summer high. He was angry at that. He was bitter that something could just snatch him out of that invincibility he’d felt. Maybe he was angry at himself. Maybe he was ashamed of himself. 

“Earth to Lance,” Pidge said, swiping her hand in front of his face. “Come in, Lance.” 

“What?” 

“How do you rank your summer?” Hunk reminded him. 

Lance simplified everything he just thought over and tried to put a number system on it. “A solid seven point eight.” 

“Wow,” Hunk said in fake wonderment, “point eight better than Pidge and I. This guy knows how to have fun.” 

The three sat outside as the sun went down and the air turned cold. After coming back to Lance’s house, the three ate lunch and talked more about the up and coming school year. They were forced to do come chores around the house, as well, but they were right back outside in time for the sunset.

“Lance, you better carpool us when you get your license,” Pidge said. 

“If you give me gas money, sure.” 

“Let me think this through,” Pidge said with a fake in-thought face. “Either I have to wake up early to take the bus with smelly people, or I have to give you money. I’ll just take the bus. Or i’ll ride with Hunk. He’ll have his license in a few months.” 

“How do you know I won’t ask for gas money?” Hunk asked. 

Lance scoffed. “You’re too nice.” 

“Hey, I can be mea- okay, you’re right. I’m not even gonna try.”

The three sat together, invincible in summer. It got colder and colder out, yet neither of them complained. Memories like those are the ones Lance was going to miss when he went back to school. Of course, they’d make new ones, but nothing lived up to summer memories. 

“I forgot to ask,” Hunk brought up, “how was Alluras party the other night?” 

Lance’s shoulders tensed slightly. “It was fine.” 

“Just… fine?” Pidge said. 

“Yeah. What, do you need a five page essay on it?” 

Hunk put his hands up. “You’re just not the kind of person who sums up their experiences in one word. Jeez.” 

“Sorry,” Lance apologized quickly. “It just wasn’t very eventful.” Of course, that was a lie. Lance remembered the feeling of strong hands around his waist. He remembered how that random guy had smelled. That was just the alcohol, though. It was just the alcohol.

“Well, here’s to more eventful parties this year.” Pidge held up her cup of lemonade. The others followed in her lead. 

“I can’t believe we’re all in the same bio class this year,” Hunk brought up. “That itself is gonna be a party.” 

Lance snickered. “That teacher is so not ready for us.” 

“We’re gonna make that class our bitch,” Pidge added.

“We’re gonna make this year our bitch!” Lance exclaimed loudly, his arms stretched out wide as if he was yelling to the sky itself. “Oh, and Hunk, since we’re juniors, we can finally bully the freshman.” 

“Couldn’t we do that last year?” Hunk asked as he attempted to braid a few strands of grass together.

“Well, sophomores bullying freshman just looks dorky because sophomores are still lower class. It’s like… a toddler bullying a baby,” Lance explained. “Be ready, Pidge. We’re gonna bully the hell out of your sophomore ass.” 

“Nuh uh,” she said. “I’m gonna have a whole bunch of junior friends, so i’ll look cool.” 

“I meant to talk to you about that. Being seen with a sophomore is gonna ruin my street cred, so… friendship over,” Lance joked. 

Pidge elbowed him in the arm. “Nobody cares about juniors being friends with sophomores. This isn’t a shitty high school movie made by forty year olds. Also, you don’t have any ‘street cred’ to begin with.” 

Lance rubbed his arm. “You have bony elbows.”

They talked and laughed and enjoyed their last moments of summer. It got late, and with it being a school night, the two went home. Lance put together his backpack, helped his mom do dishes, then spent the rest of the night in his room. 

Lance made sure to set a few alarms on his phone, then he turned the lights off and put his phone on the charger. The night before the first day of school was like christmas as a child, only dreadful instead of exciting. With so many thoughts poking around in his head, he couldn’t sleep.

He thought about the day he spent with his friends and remember them asking about the party. He’d snapped at them, which he hadn’t meant to do. He hoped he didn’t make them suspicious, which raised another thought in his head: why didn’t he want them to know?

Maybe he just needed to think over what had happened in his head before making it everyone else's business. Maybe it was because it meant nothing and he didn’t want to make a big deal over a small, irrelevant thing. That’s what he was hoping it was: a small, irrelevant thing. 

But if it was, why was he thinking about it so much?

Lance rolled onto his stomach and grabbed his phone off his nightstand. The bright light blinded him slightly but he blinked through it. He opened up his message app and clicked on Allura’s contact. 

MCPAIN: HEY. DO U HAVE ANY PRIVATE SCHOOL GIRLS YOU CAN SET ME UP WITH?

BRITISH BITCH: I GUESS? WHY?

MCPAIN: IDK. NEW YEAR NEW ME. GOTTA GET BACK INTO THE DATING GAME.

BRITISH BITCH: I’LL ASK AROUND. ALSO, STOP TEXTING ME AT MIDNIGHT. GO TO SLEEP, IDIOT.

On that note, Lance put his phone back on his nightstand and rolled over again. He fell asleep trying to get the memory of rough lips and pounding party music out of his head

\--------

Keith was getting close to throwing his phone across the room. 

Four alarms later and he was still in bed. He probably would’ve gone right back to sleep if it hadn’t been for shiro.

“Keith,” he pounded on the door, “I’m assuming you’re dead in there. On the off chance that you’re not, you have to get up for school.” 

Keith groaned loudly. 

“That’s the spirit.” 

Keith angrily threw his blanket aside and walked sleepily to the small apartment bathroom. He looked at his black hair sticking up in all different directions and tamed it as best he could with his fingers. He brushed his teeth while having a staring contest with himself in the mirror.

After throwing on a grey shirt he found in his hamper and stepping into his usual black jeans, he sat down at the small kitchen breakfast bar. 

Shiro handed him a cup of coffee. “Nice to see you break out the summer colors,” he said, indicating his dark clothing. 

“Ha-ha,” Keith replied sarcastically. “Ready for your first day?” 

“You ready for yours?” 

“I guess.”

“I guess, too. It’s kind of weird that i’m going to school with you.”

“You’re going to school as a Teacher’s Assistant. You get paid for it and you get job experience. I don’t get either,” Keith deadpanned.

After a small breakfast and a ride from Shiro, Keith was at school. He looked at his schedule again: U.S history, spanish, algebra 2, study hall, lunch, gym, bio, english. He found his first period class fairly quickly despite being new to the school. 

As he walked down hallways and sat in classrooms, Keith tried his best to deteste the school. He’d see a slightly ripped poster on the wall and immediately deem the school sloppy; he’d find one couple making out in the corner and deem the school trashy; he’d search for one mean teacher and deem the school unethical.

Keith wasn’t nervous about being at a new school. He didn’t really care much about his old school, and it wasn’t like he was leaving hundreds of friends behind at it. The only thing he felt about the situation was anger. Anger at why he had to change schools; Anger at his father and mother for the situation they put him in. That’s why he wanted to hate the school. That’s why he needed to hate the school.

He tried to push his parents from his head. The last thing he needed on his first day of school was Mommy and Daddy issues.

The day went pretty smoothly. He had to fill out a few of those “get to know me!” sheets, which was the equivalent of getting stabbed 47 times, but he got through it. At lunch he sat alone, while a group of friends sat at the same rectangular table, though they kept their distance.

With his last name starting with a ‘K’ and most classes being seated alphabetically, Keith usually sat around the middle of the room. The exception was Biology, where you could choose your own seat. 

Keith got there a little late and most seats were already taken. As he scanned the classroom, he met eyes with Pidge. She was the sister of one of Shiro's friends, Matt. Keith didn’t know her very well; he’d only seen her a few times. Even so, she nodded her head to an empty seat at her table. The tables were rectangular and were set up in rows. Pidge’s table was the second closest to the back and he sat in the seat on the right end. There were two other people he didn’t know who took up the other seats. 

The guy sitting to the right of Pidge, who was on the left end seat, had an orange headband across his medium length dark hair. He gave Keith a small but polite smile, which was nice. He had an assortment of pencils and notebooks set up and ready on his desk and looked ready for class. 

The guy who sat next to Keith tried to ignore his existence. He stole glances at Keith, but everytime he looked back over, he would quickly turn away. He had tan skin and blue eyes that popped against it. He had hair the color of chocolate that feathered against his forehead. Basically, he looked like someone who belonged in some teen movie that took place on the west coast. Even the outfit, which was a blue, striped tank top and black shorts, fit that description. 

Keith was getting a little annoyed with all the glances, so he decided to play a game. He stared at the guy to see how long he could without the guy looking over. Keith knew the guy could feel him looking, as he saw his eyes dart over, though he still didn’t turn his head. About ten seconds later he finally turned towards Keith. 

“Can I help you?” the guy asked, an eyebrow raised. His voice was laced with annoyance.

Without meaning to, Keith made eye contact with him. He felt kind of petrified, as if he couldn’t look away. The guy didn’t look away either, so they stayed like that for a bit too long. It was weird, and it felt like the staring contest would either be followed by a good laugh between the two or a fistfight. Seeing the bluntness of the guys comment and the annoyance Keith was feeling towards him, the latter seemed more likely. 

The bell rang, interrupting Keith’s thoughts. After a few more seconds, the guy coughed and looked away. The teacher started class, which Keith was happy for. He didn’t feel like dealing with this guy anymore. 

Through attendance, Keith learned that the guy’s name was Lance, and that the other guy’s name was Hunk. The troubling news came when the teacher announced that lab partners would be pairs of people sitting together. That meant that Pidge and Hunk were lab partners, and so were Lance and Keith. Lance looked over at Keith again, and as if he’d just caught on to that weird eye contact moment, he inhaled quickly and looked away. This was going to be fun.

After biology came english, where Shiro was. He did typical teachers assistant things: he handed out papers, listened to her teach, etc. Whenever Keith looked over at him he’d discreetly stick his tongue out at him, which made Keith quietly laugh.

Keith didn’t want everyone in his business. He didn’t want to explain why he lived with Shiro or the series of events that lead up to it. That meant that he didn’t want people to know he lived with him, period. Having Shiro in one of his classes jeopardized that, but as much as he’d like to pretend he didn’t need anyone and that he was all independant… Keith was relieved to have such a familiar face in his new surroundings. 

It was convenient that Keith had english last period, as he could just get a ride back to the apartment with Shiro. He had to hang back for a minute or two so that Shiro could get his things together and go over teacher things with the actual teacher (who must’ve known the situation, as she didn’t question Keith’s presence) but then they were out of there. 

They walked back to the car together and had a conversation similar to the one they had had over breakfast (“how was your first day?” “how was yours?”). Just as they got to the car, chants sounded from somewhere in the parking lot. 

“Shiro! Woo!” a few people called. Keith looked to see Pidge and those two guys from biology, Hunk and Lance. 

“You the man, Shiro!” Lance called in a lightheartedly mocking voice.

Shiro looked at the gang, rolled his eyes with a smile, and waved back at them. Then, he just got into the car. Keith was confused with how the two guys knew Shiro, and he looked them over as if something about their appearance had changed in the past fifty minutes. 

His eyes locked with Lance’s again, who’s smile faded away as he looked back at Keith. It wasn’t exactly a look of dislike, more of intrigue. This time, Keith looked away first. He opened the passenger door and got in the car.

“How do you know them?” Keith asked as Shiro started to pull out of the parking lot. 

“Pidge?” 

“No, the two guys that were with her.” 

“Ah, that’s Lance and Hunk,” Shiro said. “They’re friends of Pidge’s. They’re over at her house basically every time I go over there. Do you know them?” 

Keith was quiet for a few seconds. “No.” 

That was great. Now Keith’s lab partner a) saw Keith get into Shiro’s car and b) was friends with Pidge, who’d probably tell him all about Keith’s living and parental situation. That was just great.

Keith didn’t know why he didn’t want people to know about his past. It wasn’t necessarily something to be proud of, but it wasn’t like telling a few people would hurt. Maybe he just needed some more time to process it all. There was a big series of events that lead up to… what had happened, but it was all still pretty fresh. Maybe he just needed some more time before it was everyone else's business. But, maybe he was just ashamed.

Keith remembered waiting at home. He remembered flashing police lights. He remembered sitting there, not knowing what was going on; how long everything seemed to take. He remembered finally getting a clear answer of what had happened, and then immediately wishing he could go back to that ignorance he had had before.

Keith hadn’t done anything wrong. Nothing was his fault, yet he still ran all these equations through his mind. What would have happened if his parents never had him? Would things be different? If Shiro hadn’t taken him in, where would he have gone? What would’ve happened to him?

“You okay?” Shiro asked. Keith hadn’t realized that they’d reached the apartment. 

“Yeah,” he replied. “Just thinking about… things.” 

Shiro knew exactly what ‘things’ he was talking about. He exhaled and Keith knew immediately that he was in for a therapy session. “I know all of this… it’s been hard on you, and i’m sorry that you were just thrown into all of this. It would be overwhelming for anyone. You know you can talk to me, right?”

Keith looked down at his hands. “I do, but there’s nothing to talk about.” He opened the car door and walked up the stairs to the apartment, Shiro following his lead after a few seconds.

 

“Hey, what were you doing with Shiro yesterday?” Lance asked the next day. 

The teacher had stopped talking for a minute to pass out papers. Keith raised his eyebrows at Lance. He seemed to have been holding onto the question for a while based on how fast he spoke when he asked it. Or maybe that was just how he spoke all the time. 

“Why don’t you just ask Pidge?” Keith asked, a small bit of bitterness on his tongue, though he didn’t know who it was directed at. He looked over at Pidge. She didn’t seem to be paying attention to their conversation. 

“I did,” he replied with something something between a laugh and a scoff. “She just said that you’re close with him.” 

Keith felt a pang of appreciation towards the girl. “Why do you even care? It’s not your business.” 

“God, i’m just curious.” He turned away and Keith got a glimpse of an eyeroll.

The weather had drastically changed in the past day. It went from sunny and mid 80’s to rain and low 30’s. Lance was looking less like a west coast surfer dude. He was wearing a green army jacket, blue jeans, and a plain t-shirt. The rain made parts of his hair curl in a bit.

Throughout the rest of the period, Keith noticed little things about Lance. He tapped his foot a lot, along with bouncing his pencil in between his fingers. Keith caught him staring out of the rainy window a few times, then he’d shake his head slightly to bring his attention back to the teacher. Keith could almost see the thoughts behind his distant eyes. He seemed like the kind of guy whose head was full of so many thoughts and ideas and emotions, but ones he wouldn’t share with other people. Keith had known the guy for two days and had only spoken to him twice, so he didn’t know where this idea of him was coming from.

The bell rang and Keith got his things together. Without meaning to, he eavesdropped on Lance’s conversation with Pidge and Hunk.

“Did I tell you guys that I have a date on saturday?” Lance asked in a sort of bragging tone. 

“Is this one imaginary like the past 5 ‘dates’ you’ve had?” Pidge laughed. 

“C’mon Pidge,” Hunk said, “They weren’t imaginary, they were catfishes.” 

“No they weren’t,” Lance protested. “Why do I hang out with you guys?” 

“Okay, okay,” Hunk laughed, “Tell us about your real, non-catfish date.” 

Keith didn’t catch the end of the conversation, as they walked out of the classroom and made their way to their next class. 

Keith silently scoffed. So that was the kind of guy he was: a ladies man. And Keith had thought he was multidimensional. 

Keith didn’t have anything against dating, he just wasn’t a fan of guys who bragged about it. They’d treat girls like points in a game, and they made it their top priority to win that unspoken game. Didn’t they have other things to worry about? Other priorities?

Even before the whole thing had happened with his father, Keith wasn’t big into the dating game. Keith just felt weird about it. Maybe he didn’t want anyone to see him vulnerable. Anyway, he wasn’t exactly into the type of girls other guys were into. More accurately: he wasn’t into girls at all. He’d figured that out early on, though he didn’t dwell on it. He mentioned it casually in a conversation with Shiro, so he guessed that meant he was “out”. 

What did it matter, though? It wasn’t like he was going to date anyone in the near future. 

 

Keith twirled his fork around in his bowl of spaghetti. He wasn’t hungry, he just wanted to see how much he could get on his fork. It was safe to say that he was pretty bored. 

“I think i’m gonna start looking for a job,” Keith said. 

Shiro looked over at him. He was actually eating his pasta instead of performing experiments on it. “Why?” He asked, his brows slightly furrowed together. 

Keith looked around at the small apartment and scoffed. “Because, this apartment is barely big enough for one person, let alone two. If i’m going to take up space here i’m gonna pay my share.” 

Shiro dug his fork into the spaghetti. He spoke in a gentle tone, which weirdly made Keith more anxious. “You don’t need to do that, Keith. It was my choice to have you live here, and you paying rent wasn’t and isn’t a part of that.” 

“It wasn’t your choice, though,” Keith said. Now he was using his spaghetti twirling experiment as an excuse not to look him in the eye. “It was my father’s. He forced it on you.” 

“They didn’t just leave you at my doorstep and said ‘here, take care of this kid,’” Shiro quietly laughed. “I could’ve said no, and I didn’t. It was my choice.” 

Keith didn’t feel like arguing, but he didn’t agree with what Shiro was saying. 

Yeah, he could’ve said no, but the whole thing was a guilt trip. He got a call one day saying that this teen had absolutely nowhere to go and had no family left, and that Shiro was to be his legal guardian. What was he supposed to have said? ‘No thanks’? 

Shiro was just out of college, and he was just starting his career. When planning your future, most people don’t factor ‘take in orphaned teen into small apartment while still paying off college debts’ into the equation. No matter what Shiro said, Keith still had this big ball of guilt. Also, anger at his parents, who were the ones responsible for this shit situation. 

Basically, Keith was feeling every negative emotion that existed on earth, wrapped up into a neat ball that was shoved down his throat. He didn’t have anyone to slap his back and help him choke up all the emotion, nor did he want anyone to. Keith had already put too much of a burden on others, so all this crap, he’d handle it on his own. Also, he didn’t trust anyone to help him cough it up, because he didn’t want anyone to see that ugly ball of emotion. Keith would get it out by himself… eventually. Beautiful sentiment, huh?

To sum it up: Keith hated his parents, he hated that guilt he felt about Shiro, he needed to get a job, and he’d deal with everything himself. 

“... are you done with that?” Shiro asked after Keith was quiet for a few minutes. He’d just realized that he hadn’t had a bite of spaghetti, but he had gotten ⅓ of it on his fork. Huh, scientific experiment complete. 

“Yeah.” As Shiro took away the bowl, Keith’s phone buzzed from his pocket. He took it out and read the message he received. He never got messages, especially of the likes of the one he just got. “What the hell?” He asked. 

“What?” Shiro asked, washing dishes in the sink across from Keith. 

“Uh, Pidge just invited me to go to a dinner with her and some of her friends.” 

“That’s nice,” Shiro said. “You should go.” Keith could tell that what Shiro actually meant was ‘for the love of god, you haven’t left this apartment for anything other than school in ages, and you have no friends. Please go.’ 

“I… don’t know. It’s not like we’re close.” 

“Who else is going?” 

“Those guys who said hi to you in the parking lot.” 

Shiro raised an eyebrow. “I thought you didn’t know them.” 

“I don’t,” Keith replied, feeling weirdly defensive, “I just have bio with them… I don’t think i’m going to go.” 

“Why not?” Shiro asked, a subtle sound of disappointment in his voice.

“Like I said, I really don’t know those people. I’d rather not be stuck hanging out with them.”

“Maybe you’ll make some friends.” 

Keith sighed hard. He was going to say, ‘i don’t need friends’ but that sounded too depressing. “I’m fine by myself,” he said. 

“Can you just… give it a chance?” Shiro asked, practically pleading. 

Keith thought of the whole mental conversation he’d just had with himself. He thought about that guilt he felt about being forced upon shiro and how rough it must be on him. He was just worrying the poor guy at this point, and he did just want to be a good guardian for him. 

“... Fine,” Keith said, getting ready for torture. “I’ll go, but if i hate it, which i will, i’ll never have to hang out with them again.” 

“Deal,” Shiro said, a small smile on his face. 

Even if Keith got nothing but awkwardness out of this ‘get together’ or whatever, at least he made Shiro happy. That made that awful ball of emotion in his throat the tiniest bit smaller. 

\--------

“You did WHAT?!” 

“I invited Keith to come here with us,” Pidge repeated, her face showing a clear message of, ‘what’s your problem?’

“Ugh, why? Why, why, why?” Lance said, dramatically banging his forehead against the table they sat at with each ‘why’. 

“Because, seeing him in the parking lot reminded me that he’s kind of a lonely guy! He’s cool, though. Do any of you guys have such an intense negative reaction to this as Mr. Drama Queen has?” Pidge asked the rest of the party. 

“Nah,” Hunk said. “He seems alright.” 

“I don’t even know who you’re talking about,” Allura said with a shrug.

“This guy in our bio,” Pidge explained. “He’s a friend of my family… kind of.”

“‘Kind of?’” Hunk asked. 

“Well, friend is a bit of an overstatement. Like I said, we know him through Shiro. I haven’t talked to him much.” 

Lance picked up his head off the table. “Then how do you know that ‘he’s cool’?!”

Allura laughed at Lance. “Why do you hate him so much?” 

“I don’t ‘hate’ him, he’s just not my favorite person.” 

“You’ve spoken like five words to each other,” Hunk pointed out. 

“Yeah well he was kind of a jerk in those five words.” 

“Whatever,” Pidge said, “Knowing him, he’s not going to come anyw- Oh, alright. He just texted me back and said he’s on his way.” 

Lance looked at Pidge and shook his head. “Why must you ruin my life?” 

Lance was in a bad mood. Being back at school put a damper on his spirit, and when you mix in the new cold, rainy weather, he was just miserable. His first few days at school could’ve gone worse, though. The most tragic thing to have happened was Keith, aka Mullet, getting assigned as his lab partner. 

Even with his first few days going smoothly, there was one thing making Lance uneasy. He found himself scanning the hallways at school, looking for that one boy from the party. He didn’t want to find him. It was quite the opposite, really. Lance didn’t know his name, age, or what school he went to, and he was nervous that he’d just run into him at school one day. He didn’t know what he’d do in that situation. How could he confront that boy when he was doing everything but confronting what had happened at that party? 

Besides, he had a date with some girl named Nyma the next day. Allura set it up. They went to the same fancy private school, though Allura said she didn’t know her that well. It would be good to focus on that date instead of a stupid little thing that happened at a party. 

Breaking Lances string of thoughts, the bell connected to the diner door rang, alerting the gang of their new group member. He watched Keith exhale slightly when he got inside, adjusting to the warm and dry environment after walking through the cold rain. He looked around for a second, spotted the table Lance was at, and walked over. 

Lance observed a sort of hesitant factor to his walk. It was like his mind was telling him to run but his feet had other ideas. He gave a small, acknowledging smile to the group as he took the only empty seat at the table, which just so happened to be next to Lance. Keith seemed just as thrilled about that as Lance was. 

After some quick introductions, Keith was settled in and was looking at a menu like the rest of the table was. Lance tried to focus on his menu but was a bit distracted by the new addition to the table. Keith smelled of the rain he’d just escaped from, along with some sort of musk. It wasn’t as bad as all those freshman boys who practically showered in body spray; it was kind of pleasant. Unlike his personality. 

A very tired looking waitress came over to take their orders. Lance got a cheeseburger, Hunk got an avocado burrito, Allura got pancakes, and Pidge got a huge plate of fries. 

“Uh, just a coffee,” Keith ordered last. The waitress scribbled down the foods and beverage and left without another word. 

“That’s all you’re getting?” Lance asked, an eyebrow raised. 

Keith looked over at him, and Lance suddenly felt a bit out of breath. “What, do you have a problem with coffee?” 

“I see you haven’t gotten less snappy in the past five hours,” Lance said. 

“And I see you haven’t gotten any less egotistical,” Keith replied.

Lance was about to reply when Hunk cleared his throat. After staring him down for one more second, Lance turned to face the rest of the group. Keith did the same. After the vibes were reset, the group got to talking.

“Keith, you’re new to the highschool, right?” Hunk asked. 

“Yeah.” 

“What do you think of it?” 

“I dunno. It’s a pretty typical school.” He stopped talking and must’ve noticed that everyone was waiting for more. “I did see a fistfight start over the last brownie in the cafeteria, though. That was a pretty exciting welcoming.” 

“That's our school all right. Lance, remember when some kid brought mercury to school and a whole bunch of kids had to get their eyes washed out?” Hunk laughed. 

“Oh yeah,” Lance remenised. “That was freshman year. I guess we got a pretty exciting welcoming, too.” 

Keith scoffed at that, though surprisingly not in a negative way. That was the first time Keith had reacted… not negatively to something Lance said. 

They got their food and continued talking. Keith didn’t speak much, just listened and sipped on his coffee. He usually only spoke when someone said something directly to him. When he did speak, though, Lance managed to see a bit of his hidden personality. Under layers and layers of defense, he actually did seem like the cool guy Pidge said he was. Even so, Lance wasn’t in a rush to get to know him. Maybe if he wasn’t continuously a jerk to Lance, he’d be more interested. 

“Why’d you switch schools, Keith?” Allura asked when it became to topic of conversation again.

“It’s no- … it’s complicated,” Keith said, catching himself in his defensive response and calming himself down. Lance saw him make quick eye contact with Pidge, who definitely knew the story but was neglecting Lance of it.

Even though Lance wasn’t interested in Keith, and he definitely didn’t want to be friends with him, he was curious about his mysterious past. Between his unknown relationship with Shiro and his abrupt change in schools, Lance knew it was something big. Who could resist a juicy backstory? It didn’t seem like Keith was intent on telling any of them, though.

The gang talked about a wide array of things. School, pop culture, politics; the three defining things of generation z. 

“Should I grow out my hair?” Pidge asked. She’d cut her hair boy short before Lance had met her. He didn’t know why. Now, it had grown out a bit to shoulder length. 

“Do it,” Allura said. “I’m curious to see how it looks.” 

“How do you deal?” Pidge asked, gesturing to Alluras long locks. “Long hair is gonna seem like such a hassle after having it short.”

Allura laughed. “You don’t even know the beginning of it, white girl.” 

Lance loved the way the words seemed to glide out of her mouth with her regal accent. He was a bit into Allura, but who wouldn’t be? She was a ridiculously beautiful person. He’d outgrown the giant crush he had on her when they first met, though. They’d grown to be good friends since then. 

“I don’t know,” Lance said, “I think Keith’s hair is longer than both of yours combined.” 

Keith sent a glare his way. “You jealous?” 

“Of your mullet? Never.” 

“Whatever you say, bowl cut.” 

“Oh, you better take that back before i grab your man ponytail and rip it from your head.” 

“I’d like to see you try.” 

It was then that Lance realized the two boys were both grinning . Somewhere in that string of insults they’d gone from plain mean to playful fighting. Lance quickly looked away and wiped the smile off of his face. He was NOT friends with Keith, nor did he like him in any shape or form.

“Wow,” Pidge said sarcastically, “you two need to get a room.” 

Keith choked on the coffee he’d turned back to. “Hm?” 

Lance was thinking the same thing (the ‘hm?’ not the choking on coffee), but the group was immediately onto their next topic of conversation, no elaboration coming from Pidge. 

Lance shoved some fries into his mouth. He glanced at Allura and against his better judgement he thought of the party she’d invited him to. 

Lance remembered getting home late at night, still half drunk, and kicking his shoes off. His bedroom had spun around him and it felt like it wouldn’t stop. At first it had been fun; that spinning felt like he was floating through the universe, not a care in sight. Everything had seemed so flexible, and for a few shining hours it felt like there was no consequences for anything. He’d been so full of confidence, his lips had been pulled into a continuous smirk for the whole night.

Then, in his dark room, that spinning felt awful. The confidence was gone and his smile was gone, his lips instead left tingling and numb after an encounter at that party. The spinning felt like a burden at that point. He had sat down on his bed for what seemed like an eternity, thinking through everything and nothing at the same time. He’d flopped down on his pillow after that and fallen asleep in his jeans and jacket. 

Lance was pulled from his thoughts to the diner as Hunk laughed loudly. He didn’t know what at, but Lance smiled along to avoid suspicion from his friends. Lance did feel Keith’s eyes on him, though. He must’ve noticed Lances daydream. He wished he’d just look away. 

Like he’d been trying to do for about two weeks now, Lance pushed all thoughts of that party out of his head and made an attempt to join back into the group’s conversation. Allura and the others were comparing school experiences. 

“They don’t make your food fresh everyday?” Allura asked. 

Hunk scoffed. “Are you kidding me? If it’s not frozen, it’s not in our cafe.” 

Pidge was ripping open sugar packets and pouring them on the table for no reason. “Yeah, Allura. We’re not all in rich fancy schools like you.” 

“Well, yes, i’m in a private school, but it’s also a european thing.” 

Pidge imitated Alluras posh, british accent. “Oh, deary me, a european thing.” 

The table, including Keith, laughed at that as Allura sulked. Interrupting their fun, that tired waitress came over to the table. “We’re closing now,” She said with an eyebrow raised. 

The group payed for their food (and single coffee) and were then standing outside, waiting for their rides. There was a small pavilion they stood under to seek coverage from the rain. Lance saw Keith pull his hood up and button up his jacket. 

“What are you doing?” Lance asked, stepping away from the group. 

“Uh, walking home,” He said, caught off guard a bit. 

“Do you live close by?” It was raining pretty hard out. 

“Kind of.” Lance was kind of tempted to ask him if he wanted a ride, just out of pity. He had a feeling, though, that he’d get punched if he did that. “It’s fine,” Keith continued. “That single coffee will keep me warm.” 

He gave a small grin to Lance, as if the two of them were sharing an inside joke. Before Lance could even think to respond, Keith turned away and walked into the rain, which very much was still pouring. 

God, that guy was weird. 

An hour later and Lance was back home and dry from the rain. He really hated the rain. 

Lance thought over the events of the day as he stepped out of his jeans and into plaid pajama pants. Why had Pidge even invited Keith? She said he was a ‘lonely guy,’ and Lance wondered why that was. Well, his personality sure wasn’t making him many friends, but Lance also guessed that it had to do with his mysterious past.

Lance thought back to something he’d noticed at the diner. He kept getting little glimpses at Keith’s actual personality. The guy had put up layers and layers of defense, and that was pretty obvious. He seemed just about as lonely as Pidge said he was, and Lance was suspecting that that was because he wanted people to stay away. 

Keith joked a few times, smiled a few times, and for just a second, when he was about to walk home, Lance saw him let down his barrier a bit. What was underneath all the defense wasn’t awful. It wasn’t the kind of guy who was mean to everyone just for the sake of being mean. Keith’s anger towards others was an agenda; it was a mission. 

Lance told himself many times that he wasn’t interested in Keith. He was beginning to realize that that wasn’t true. He was interested in him, but the Keith that was being put forward, that repressed, defensive guy, Lance didn’t like him. 

He was interested in Keith, not the defense he put up. Maybe if those walls were taken down by someone… but it wasn’t Lance’s job. Taking down those walls was something Keith would have to do himself.

 

Lance woke up. He went downstairs. His mom was making breakfast and he said hello. He helped her pour juice and coffee. It was like most mornings. 

Lance both loved and hated that the first week of school was always a short one. He’d only had two days of school and then it was the weekend again. He liked that because… less school. Who wouldn’t like a few days off? He didn’t like it because it made school feel like a dream. Because he was only there for two days, it was like school didn’t even happen; it wasn’t cemented in his head. Lance knew that throughout the course of the weekend, he’d forget that he had school on monday and when he got to monday he’d just be depressed. 

Disrupting the peace, Lance’s siblings barreled down the stairs. They always happened to wake up at the same time, as if they were purposely combing their forces to reach maximum annoyance. His siblings were named Marco, Veronica, and Luis. Marco and Veronica were all around middle school age. Veronica would be a freshman at the highschool the next school year. Luis was away at college. 

“Can i have a coffee?” Marco asked. 

“If you had a coffee, you’d explode,” Lance's mom said, sliding him an orange juice.

“Why can Lance have coffee?” 

“Because,” Lance answered, “I’m a teen and I need coffee to battle my teenage angst.” 

“I have no idea what that means.” 

Lance held his coffee up in the air, as if he was toasting with an invisible cup. “You will one day.” 

Lance put his face against the warm coffee mug on the table, biting the sides for no reason. With both arms stretched out in front of him, he checked his phone. 

BRITISH BITCH: NYMA IS MEETING YOU AT MOVIE THEATER @ 7

MCPAIN: TIGHT. WHAT MOVIE R WE SEEING?

BRITISH BITCH: IDK??? I THINK SHE’S PICKING IT

MCPAIN: O. KK

BRITISH BITCH: ?

MCPAIN: I MEAN,,, IF I’M PAYING FOR THE DATE SHOULDN'T I PICK THE MOVIE?

BRITISH BITCH: SHE CAN PAY FOR HERSELF. IT’S TIME TO TREAT WOMEN WITH RESPECT BY MAKING THEM PAY FOR THEIR OWN SHIT

MCPAIN: YOU HAVE A WEIRD PHILOSOPHY

BRITISH BITCH:¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ ‘ 

“Lance, put the phone away,” Lance's mom scolded.

Lance sighed and slipped his phone into his pocket. “Okay, but you just interrupted a very intellectual conversation.” 

“Oh yeah?” his mom asked with an eyebrow raised. “What about?”

“Uh… global warming?” 

She snickered. “Sure.” 

“When’s dad getting home?” Lance asked, changing the topic. 

“Soon,” she replied, suppressing a smile. Bleh. They were so in love.

Sure enough, twenty minutes later and Lance’s dad’s car pulled into the garage. He had dark skin and dark hair to match it, though there were streaks of grey running through it. It didn’t look bad, though. It was tasteful. He worse a black cardigan and had his grey computer bag slugged across his shoulder. 

His siblings ran to great him as Lance and his mother stayed in the kitchen. His father said hello to his kids and took turns ruffling their hair. Their energetic selves rushed to tell him about their first days at school. Lance didn’t know how his dad managed to decipher a) all the voices talking at once and b) the lighting fast pace they spoke at. It must’ve been the years of practice. 

He made his way into the kitchen to great the last two members of his family. He gave a quick peck to Lance’s mom, who was still wearing her apron. She put some breakfast onto a plate for him and gave him a coffee. 

“And how was your first day?” Lance’s dad asked.

“Pretty good,” Lance said. “I only got in four fights and i started a fire in the cafeteria but it was put out quickly. I also murdered someone.” 

“Hm, sounds eventful,” his dad joked.

“Nah, it was a pretty average day.” 

The day went on. Lance sat outside and did the very little homework he had. It was nice out again, and the remaining rain in the air from the night before made for a beautiful view. 

Throughout the day leading up to the date, Lance tried his best to get that party out of his mind. His mental conversation went something like this: 

“Stop thinking about the party. You have a date tonight.” 

“The party? You mean the party where you kis-” 

“Shut up! Stop thinking of the party!” 

“You’re thinking about it right now.” 

“Ugh, i know.” 

Come six P.M and Lance started to get ready for his date. He didn’t know how formal it was, so he wore as neutral of an outfit as he could: A white T-shirt, dark blue jeans, and a black cardigan (just like the one his dad wore. That’s who he inherited his fashion from).

Lance’s mom drove him to the movie theater and throughout the entire car ride he longed for his own drivers license so that he didn’t have to get ride’s from his mom to his dates. 

Lance arrived a few minutes early. He sat on a bench outside the theater looking at everyone who passed by. He finally spotted Nyma, who he recognized from her instagram page. She must’ve done a bit of instagram stalking as well, as her eyes fell on him when she started scanning her surroundings. She came over to great him and Lance stood up to do the same.

“Hi,” Lance said with a smile.

“Hey,” she responded back. 

They didn’t say anything for a few seconds. Lance took the time to fully comprehend the girl in front of him. Nyma definitely was pretty, and so was her fashion sense. She wore a striped, burgundy jumpsuit. The top was sleeveless and wrapped around her neck, sort of resembling a swimsuit, and below the cinched waistline the pants were loose and went down to her ankles. She had long blonde hair that was tied back into a half ponytail. 

“Uh, you look great,” Lance decided on. 

“Thanks,” she said back. “So do you.” 

“Should we… get to the movie?” 

The two went and saw some horror movie. It wasn’t very scary, and the two made fun of it the whole time. A movie probably wasn’t the best place for a first date as it’s basically just sitting in a dark room in silence for a few hours. Even so, Lance could see that Nyma was a fun girl and had a big personality. 

“Look, this guy is about to get stabbed,” she said. She held her finger up as if she was a conductor waiting to start a symphony. She brought down the finger and just as she predicted, the knife the antagonist was holding plunged into the gut of the character on screen. 

“Oh my god, how did you guess that?” Lance whispered. 

“How did you not?” she scoffed. Lance didn’t reply. 

At the end of the movie the two got some ice cream from a vending machine outside of the theater. 

“So, you know Allura?” Lance asked. 

“Mhm. Not well, though. I see her around.” 

“Cool… cool.” 

Neither of them said anything for a few seconds. The silence was unreadable to Lance. He flipped through topics of conversation in his head like a book. Food? Nah. Weather? Nah. He decided to go with the easiest, which was the movie they just saw. 

“Was it just me or was that fake blood in the movie super obviously fake?” 

“It totally was,” She replied enthusiastically, her icecream spoon just leaving her mouth. “Why was it so orange?” 

“Which part of the production crew looked at it and went ‘hm, this definitely looks real,’ because they definitely need to be fired.” 

Nyma laughed along with Lance and lightly touched his arm. “How did that get past everyone, though? Like they must’ve seen the awful fake blood, looked at the guy who got it, and said ‘Rob, have you ever seen human blood before?’” 

“Maybe the movie was just so low budget they had no other choice than to use pasta sauce as blood,” Lance jokingly suggested. 

“Now i’m just wondering what the actors were thinking.” 

“Do you think that guy was doing his actor thing, got fake stabbed, saw the fake blood, and just looked into the camera like ‘are you guys serious?’” 

Nyma laughed. “God, you’re funny.” 

Lance was about to stutter out a response when Nyma cut him off. “Ah, that’s my ride. I… had a lot of fun. I’ll text you?” Again, before Lance could say anything she shut him up with a kiss to the cheek. Then, she was gone out of the doors. 

“Yeah. i’ll… text you, too,” he said to no one. 

A few minutes later and Lance was back in his moms car. As they drove home, Lance replied to Alluras text she’d just sent. He told her that he had fun. 

That was true. Nyma was a great girl. She was pretty, funny, and lively. Lance could argue that that was just his type. 

Did he like her romantically, though? Jury was still out. His mind was feeling… jumbled. It had been that way ever since that party. He felt like he was a puzzle and a few pieces were missing. It was infuriating, as he knew that those pieces were somewhere around him, just out of his reach. 

Lance found himself thinking about that for the rest of the day. Did he like her, or was he just trying to get his mind off a certain party? Did he like her or was he just lonely? Did he like her? He didn’t know. 

Great. Another thing to ponder over. Just what he needed. 

Lance started making a mental list of all the things he’d been pondering over: The boy at the party, Nyma, Keith. 

Lance didn’t know why Keith was still in his mind. That one smile he’d given him at the dinner had really confused him. Like Lance had thought about a million times already, it was like every wall he had built up, every defense he had, every means of covering up his true self and personality, it all fell for just a few quick moments. Lance knew that in bio, Keith would return to his regular emo and withheld ways. That fact made Lance feel… he didn’t know. Angry? Disappointed? He didn’t know. 

Thinking over all of that stuff made him angry. Before this year… everything seemed so laid out for Lance. He was the guy he’d known for all his sixteen years of living. He was just himself. Now, he felt so different. He was trying so hard to hold onto the person he used to be, but he felt like he was slipping into this entirely new person. He didn’t know who that new person was. 

Lance was beginning to think that he didn’t know anything these days. 

 

“No, that one goes there.” 

“What are you even talking about? It says right there that it goes here.” 

“What are you, Mr. Biology?” 

Lance and Keith were having their first mid-lab fight in their relationship as lab partners. It would be the first of many, which both of them would have predicted the second they were assigned to work together. 

They were using molecular model kids to build bla bla bla, boring science stuff. Lance was lost and had no idea how to build… whatever… but he sure as hell wasn’t letting Keith take the reins. 

“This is chemistry stuff!” Keith exclaimed in anger. “Why do we even need to do this?” 

“Be quiet,” Lance instructed. “I can’t hear myself think with you yelling.” 

Keith raised an eyebrow mockingly. “You can think? That’s new.”

Lance was about to punch this guy. In one quick movement, Lance snatched the model out of Keith’s hands. Keith immediately grabbed it back. Like the children they were, the two got into a tug of war contest over whatever messy model they were making. 

“Uh, do you guys need help?” Pidge asked, her and Hunk peering over at the fighting pair. 

Lance and Keith stopped pulling but neither of them took their hands off the model. 

“We’re doing great,” Lance said. 

“We’re good,” Keith agreed. Huh. His pride was just as big and easily damaged as Lance knew his own was. Good to know. 

Hunk and Pidge didn’t look convinced, but they turned around and got back to their own model. Lance thought he heard Pidge whisper something to Hunk, and moments later they were both laughing. Lance felt anger rise in his throat. 

Lance felt a sudden jolt and looked back in front of himself. Keith had pulled his hands away quickly, noticing before Lance that they were awkwardly touching hands over the model. Keith looked away and Lance rubbed his hands on his jeans, as if that would get Keith’s cooties off. 

Lance cleared his throat. “I guess we should actually… work on this stupid thing.”

“Yeah,” Keith replied, not looking directly at Lance. “So, the slinky thing is a hydrogen bond… i think.” 

“Okay. So we just-” Lance moved around a carbon, attached two hydrogen bonds, and then placed a final oxygen. “Is this right?” 

Lance saw Keith slyly look at Hunk and Pidges table, where a Proline identical to the one Lance just completed sat. “It’s right!” 

“Hell yeah! I’m a genies.” 

“I wouldn’t say t-” 

“Hey, mullet, let me have this,” Lance said. 

Keith raised an eyebrow. “So that nickname is sticking?” 

“Cut your mullett and i’ll give you a new nickname.” 

“Or you could just… call me by my real name.” 

“I don’t even know your first name,” Lance joked. “I couldn't be bothered to learn it.” 

Keith scowled and rolled his eyes. Lance looked at him for a few seconds, waiting for a reply. He didn’t get one. 

Lance did notice a few more thinks about Keith that he’d never noticed before, though. First, he had a scar near his left eyebrow. It looked healed over, but not old. Like he’d gotten it only a few months prior. Lance couldn’t help but wonder if how he got that scar had to do with why he was in a new school. However he got it, it gave Keith even more of a bad boy vibe than he already had. Not that Lance liked that, though. Bad boys were just people who could be as mean as they wanted to and would get nothing but coolness and swooning girls from it. Keith didn’t really fit that type though. He wasn’t very cool and he certainly didn’t have girls swooning over him. 

Second was his jacket. Lance had only seen him out of that jacket the first day of school when it was blazing hot out. It was a sleek maroon bomber jacket. There were matching zippers on both biceps. It wasn’t hideous, Lance would admit, and it went well with his usual ensamble: black jeans and some sort of T-shirt. Lance wondered if there was some history behind the jacket or if he just really liked it, like Lance loved the army jacket he wore all the time. 

Lastly, and most embarrassing, Lance realized that Keith was just… not a bad looking guy. He had a nice face shape, one that he hadn’t appreciated before. He had striking eyes to fit the whole dark vibe he had. It annoyed Lance. Why did a guy with such a bad personality get a good face?

Not that Lance even cared though. What did it matter if he was attractive or not? And… why would Lance even notice that? He added it to his mental list of things to ponder over.

The period would end three minutes later so the two began cleaning up their kits. Neither of them talked to each other.

Lance was out of the door the second the bell rang. He clicked Nymas contact on his phone as he walked and started typing. 

LANCE: HEY, IT’S LANCE. WOULD YOU WANNA GET SOME COFFEE SOMETIME THIS WEEK? MY TREAT :)

She replied almost immediately. 

NYMA: SOUNDS GREAT! ANY DAY WORKS FOR ME 

\----------

Keith watched as Lance rushed out of the biology room. Pidge and Hunk seemed just as puzzled about his quick escape as Keith was. 

Keith didn’t know how he was supposed to put up with Lance for a whole year. He was insufferable and the opposite of a team player… not that Keith was any better. 

The annoying thing was that if Lance put his full attention to something, he’d get it easily. There was so much wasted potential. When they were doing the model, Lance had given up. When he actually put his mind to it, though, he got it easily. 

Lance seemed like this arrogant, self absorbed guy, but Keith saw that he was the kind of guy who gave up before he started. Why? He didn’t know. Maybe he didn’t like rejection, which Keith could relate to, or maybe he didn’t want to face his problems. He’d rather get angry at them and then try to ignore them. Keith could relate to that, too. Not that he cared. 

Keith didn’t care… but he couldn’t help but wonder. In Keith’s experiences, there were two types of withholders: the ones who talk so much that people don’t even realize that they never talk about their problems or feelings, and the ones who don’t talk at all and get rid of anyone who asks them about their problems or feelings. 

Guess which one Lance was, and guess which one Keith was. 

That’s why he was pretty sure there was something more to Lance. Some deep insecurities under his loud, outspoken nature; some fear behind that impulse to quit before he started. 

Lance, with his easygoing surfer look and countering defensive and loud personality… there was something more to him. Keith just couldn’t decide on if it was good or bad. 

 

“What’s with the pile of books?” Shiro asked Keith. 

Keith was sitting at the dining island. Next to him was five books stacked in a tower. “I was bored so i tried forcing myself to read. I couldn’t get into it,” he explained. 

Keith’s second week at school was over and the weekend had come again. The week had gone pretty fast. He was starting to get more homework as he got deeper into the school year. He didn’t know if that was good or bad. On the good side, it took his mind off of things. On the bad side… it was homework. On that very bored saturday, Keith actually craved some homework, but he’d already finished all he’d been assigned. 

“Why don’t you go out with Pidge and her friends again?” Shiro asked. 

Keith had only agreed to go to the diner with them to please Shiro, and it had definitely done that. When Keith got home, soaked in rain, and replied “not bad” when Shiro asked how it had gone… he thought the guy was about to cry tears of joy. 

“They didn’t invite me to do anything,” Keith explained. 

“Why don’t you invite them to do something?” 

“Nah.” Keith left it at that. 

Yeah, going to the diner had been ‘not bad,’ but Keith didn’t expect to go out again with those people. They were fun, but Keith just felt like he was intruding on Lance’s territory. He already claimed a seat at his bio table, he didn’t need to threaten the guy more by joining his friend group. 

There was a small part of Keith that wanted to do just that, though. Lance could be a jerk, and he clearly wanted nothing to do with Keith. Keith could respect that and back off… or he could do everything in his power to piss off Lance, who seemed to do everything in his power to piss off Keith.

Keith hibernated into his room; his own little space away from the universe. It was the one space were Keith could rely on the fact that there was nothing but himself. In that room he played by his own rules, and all the problems and thoughts and people of the outside universe could only be let in if Keith wanted them to be. 

There was a problem with this, though. There was a new breach in the system. One corner of the bedroom had boxes piled up, waiting to opened and explored. They were the remains of Keith’s old life; his life before everything had happened with his father. He had barely touched the boxes. The only time he had was to get his blanket out for his new bed. 

He know what items were in them. Nothing would be a surprise; they were simply his own things. Still… he felt like he would be opening a portal. The things didn’t belong to the new person he was, and holding them, pretending they and Keith himself were still the same… it would be wrong.

Keith sighed and flopped onto his bed. He thought about his room and how it sheltered him from the universe. Those boxes did the same. He didn’t have to deal with memories if he didn’t have to see them. He made a silent oath to himself that he wouldn’t be opening the boxes anytime soon. 

After thinking about them so much, Keith started to feel uneasy, as if the boxes were calling to him, infiltrating his time away from the universe. Keith, still bored and now a bit angry, jumped out of bed, pulled his shoes on, and walked to the apartment door. 

“Going for a walk,” he called to a confused Shiro. He didn’t wait for a reply, opening the door and shutting it behind him. 

Keith didn’t know where he was going. He didn’t have anywhere to go. There were no familiar places to see or familiar people to talk to. Maybe that was the point. Maybe getting away from all things familiar was what he needed to do after thinking so hard about those boxes. 

The boxes… they were lions in cages. Even with them locked in, Keith could hear them roar.

Keith’s frantic thoughts were interrupted by a buzzing in his pocket. He took out his phone to see he got a text. 

[UNKNOWN NUMBER]: IS THIS KEITH?

KEITH: WHO IS THIS?

[UNKNOWN NUMBER]: LANCE

KEITH: OH. YOU COULD HAVE SAID THAT. 

[UNKNOWN NUMBER]: THAT SNARK COULD ONLY BELONG TO KEITH, SO I GUESS I HAVE THE RIGHT NUMBER. 

KEITH: HOW DID YOU GET MY NUMBER? WHAT DO YOU WANT?

[UNKNOWN NUMBER]: CALM DOWN. PIDGE GAVE IT TO ME. WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT THAT BIO PROJECT. 

KEITH: THAT’S NOT DUE FOR A WHILE. 

[UNKNOWN NUMBER]: I JUST SAID WE SHOULD TALK ABOUT IT, I DIDN’T SAY WE BOTH SHOULD DROP EVERYTHING AND GET IT DONE THIS SECOND. 

KEITH: FINE. I DON’T HAVE MY BINDER IN FRONT OF ME. I’LL TEXT YOU ABOUT IT LATER.

Keith added the number to his contacts, putting the name as ‘jackass’. He then slipped the phone into his pocket. Keith had planned to put off the biology project till last minute, but he guessed that wasn’t an option. Was it weird that he was looking forward to the project now? He guessed that he just wanted a distraction to drown out the lions. 

 

Keith sat at the local coffee shop with Lance. It was right by the high school, so they walked over right after school ended. 

It was a nice day out. It was sunny, but slight breezes cooled things down. Lance had his jacked wrapped around his waist and Keith had his sleeves rolled up. Even the weather couldn’t make hanging out with Lance any more pleasant, though.

Keith didn’t get anything, but Lance ordered a large americano. 

“Do you really need all that coffee?” Keith had asked. Lance was kind of… an energetic guy. 

“Coffee calms me down,” he replied simply. 

“What?” 

Lance waved away the question, giving no elaboration. “So, what do you wanna do for the project?” 

“I assumed you had an idea.” 

“Why?” 

“You’re the one who texted me the day after getting the assignment.” 

“Oh. Yeah,” he said, as if he forgot that part. He took out his bio binder and a pencil. As he read over the instructions for the project, he tapped the pencil repeatedly over the page. 

Keith watched Lance’s eyes scan the pages. He had nice eyelashes… just an observation he made. Today he was in a T shirt that was black on top and faded to white at the bottom. As Keith observed the pencil pouncing back and forth, he noticed some bracelets on Lance’s wrists. There was a braided leather one and a black beaded one. Both looked stretched from years of wear. 

“What are you looking at?” Lance asked. 

“Nothing,” Keith responded. “Any ideas?” 

“Uh… no,” Lance said. “Do you get any of what we’re doing in class right now?” 

“Not really,” Keith said. “I bet you wish you were working with Pidge and Hunk by now.” 

“Nah,” Lance said. “They’re too smart for me. If i work with a bozo like you, i feel smart.” 

“Why are you calling me a bozo? You don’t get this either!” 

Lance gave a small smile. “Fine. We can both be bozos.” 

The two worked for an hour, pointing things out in their notes and periodically googling things. In their project they had to find some animal and put together a presentation to prove that it’s evolved through time. They had to give examples of each of Darwin's six points in their explanation plus some other terms. 

“I think i got it,” Lance said. “Like… lets use you as an example. You’re going to be walking some day and you won't see a car come because your hair is too long. You’re gonna get hit and you won't be able to pass your long hair onto your children. Natural selection.” 

“First of all,” Keith replied, “If Lamarck's theory was true, that would be accurate. But it’s not. Long hair isn’t genetic. Second of all, what do you have against my hair?” 

“I’m trying to protect you,” Lance joked. “Like i said, you’re gonna get hit by a car because you can’t see through your bangs. I’m trying to save your life!” 

“If I get hit by a car it’s because you pushed me in front of one.” 

Lance gave out a warm laugh at that, surprising Keith. His laugh was one of those loud ones you couldn't ignore. It was infectious, making the room happier; more carefree. It reminded Keith of a summer day. 

“Are you seriously saying i’d kill you?” 

Keith coughed, refocusing. “I wouldn’t put it past you.” 

“If anyone’s killing anyone it’s you,” Lance said, laughing again. Keith couldn’t focus with that laugh distracting him. 

“Why?” 

“You have a very ‘i like to fight people’ look and personality,” Lance said very matter-of-factly. “I mean, you have a big scar on your eyebrow. Is that from a fight?” 

Keith’s heart flipped a bit. He remembered that fight. It was his last day at his old school, right after… what happened had happened. “Yeah, actually,” He said, looking down at his paper and away from Lance. 

“What happened?” Lance asked it seriously. Keith wasn’t used to Lance saying un-sarcastic things. 

“A guy was annoying me. Had been all year,” Keith said. Of course, that didn’t even begin to cover the whole story. 

“So you just… fought him?” Lance squinted his eyes a bit, his smile fading away. Keith didn’t know what was going on in his head. Fear of Keith? Anger? Admiration? He couldn’t tell. 

“It’s… complicated.” 

“How?” 

Keith wanted to change the subject fast. His head was spinning. He didn’t like to be brought back to that day, which was the worst of his life. “Look, can you just leave it? I don’t fight everyone who’s ever been a dick to me.” Lance had a weird look on his face at that. Keith didn’t like Lance looking at him like that. He didn’t know what he felt at it, but it sort of felt like shame. “I mean… i haven’t fought you, have I?” 

Lance lost that look, to Keith’s relief. “Not yet, you haven’t,” he said with a grin. His grin was like his laugh. It was distracting. 

“Let’s just get through this project and then we can fight. Deal?” 

“Deal,” Lance said. “... can i ask one more question?” 

“Will you still ask it if i say yes?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Fine. 

Lance sat forward in his seat a bit, that goofy, summer like smirk still on his face. “Did you win? The fight, did you win it?” 

Keith’s heart did another flip at that, but a positive one that time. Lance smelled like coffee. “If you count knocking the guy out with only one scratch to me as winning… then yeah, I won.” 

“Looks like i have to train up before our post-project fight.” 

It was Keith’s turn to laugh. He actually laughed at a joke Lance said… that was strange. 

 

For the next week the two would meet after school. They’d decided to do their projects on whales, and Keith and Lance worked together on the presentation and the content of it. The location of their meetings varied. One day they worked outside of that local coffee shop, the next they worked in it, and the next they’d work on a random patch of grass near the school. 

The two had a pretty dynamic relationship. Most of the time it was filled with snark and insults as was to be expected, but a few times they would make jokes and forget about their sort of rivalry, if it could be called that. 

That was the trend that Keith noticed. Whenever the two made fun of eachother, there was some sort of extra effort to be mean. It was like they had a goal in mind just to continue that sort of negative start their relationship had got kicked off on. 

But on the other end, when the two had fun together, it was like they had forgotten where they were. They’d be tired and focused on their school work, and in the midst of that they’d let their guard down. It wasn’t a conscious decision, and Keith would only notice it later. He suspected that Lance noticed it. Whenever he’d smile at something Keith said, he seemed to stop in his tracks and force the smile away.

Keith didn’t know why the two kept up the whole rivalry thing. He didn’t know why they put in this mutual effort to be mean to each other. It very well could be pride, of which the two boys had lots of. Maybe they didn’t want to admit that their first impressions had just been… first impressions. They didn’t want to admit that they liked each others company more than they’d let on from the moment they met each other.

Even so, Keith still wasn’t exactly Lance’s number one fan. The guy was still so arrogant and energetic and talkative. He got offended too easily and gave up on things. He seemed to think that a lot of conversations were on his terms, as if he was the only participant. He also was… funny and captivating, and it annoyed the hell out of Keith. 

To put it simply, Lance was a handful. He had a big personality and Keith had only explored a little bit of it. He wasn’t going to lie and say he wasn’t interested in exploring more of it, he just wasn’t sure that he’d like what he found. 

“I brought glitter,” Lance announced, making his presence clear to Keith. On that day they met at a local McDonalds.

“Do we… need glitter?” Keith asked. 

“Obviously. What? Do you want our poster board about Darwinism, evolution, and natural selection to be bland?” 

“I don’t think there’s any way to make those topics not bland.” 

“Just because you and your personality are bland doesn’t mean you have to bland up our project,” Lance said. “We’re using the glitter.” 

The two had their poster board splayed out on a McDonald's table, both of them standing up and walking around it to reach all angles of their project. Every once in a while a janitor would walk by, spot the glitter and crumpled paper surrounding the table, and shoot the dirtiest look at the two boys. 

The two took a small break after finishing one part of their project. Their fingers were covered in glue and glitter but their project was actually starting to come together. Keith wouldn’t have guessed that he and Lance could actually make a semi decent project together without getting blood on it from when they murder eachother out of annoyance, but the two had actually managed to avoid that. They might still want to murder each other, but the important thing was that neither of them followed through with the act. 

“You didn’t get anything,” Lance pointed out. “Aren’t you gonna buy some fries or something?” 

Keith looked over at the half finish soda and burger Lance had on the table. “I forgot my wallet at home.” Actually, he didn’t own a wallet to forget, or any money for that matter. He didn’t realize until then how hungry he was.

Lance squinted his eyes at Keith, almost as if he was trying to calculate the next insult to throw at him. Instead, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a five dollar bill. “Here,” He said, thrusting the money at Keith. 

Keith didn’t know what to say. He was surprised at the fact that Lance was doing something… decent for him. It made his head go a bit foggy, which was the same effect that Lance’s laugh had on him. 

Then Keith remembered that Lance probably expected money back, which Keith couldn’t give him. “I… I can’t-” he tried to find his words; he searched for a way to explain why he couldn’t take the bill without saying something along the lines of ‘i’m poor.’ 

“Don’t worry about paying me back,” Lance said, as if reading Keith’s mind. He was still holding the bill out, as if he wanted Keith to take the bill and get the moment of kindness over with. “Seriously, it’s not a big deal.” 

Keith hesitated a few seconds. Lance’s face looked a bit hardened, as if he was fighting with himself over the act. It worried Keith, as if this was some sort of prank. Deep down he knew it wasn’t, though, and that Lance was thinking of something else. Keith didn’t know what, and he was reminded of that time in bio when he imagined he could see Lance’s inner thoughts and self just through his distant eyes. 

“Thanks,” Keith finally said. He took the money from the hand and it looked like a weight was lifted off of Lance. His arm fell back at his side and he exhaled a breath he probably didn’t notice he was keeping. Keith wanted to say more to Lance, but again he couldn’t find the words. 

He headed up to the counter and got online. He rubbed the paper bill between his fingers to remind himself that it was real. He ordered a small soda and medium fry and reluctantly handed over the five dollars, getting a few coins back along with a crumpled up dollar bill. 

As Keith waited for his food, he looked over at Lance. He was cleaning up some of the glitter that had fallen on the floor. Keith knew that other people would just leave it for the glaring janitor to clean up, but here was Lance, kneeling on the floor just to relieve someone of a bit of extra work. There he was, just having given up five dollars to someone he supposedly hated just so he could eat. 

Keith knew that there was some hidden part of Lance that was slowly getting revealed to him. He expected it to be nothing good; more of that pessimism and reluctance he’d already seen from the guy. But waiting for food that Lance had gotten for him and watching the guy dirty up jeans he knew he loved just to help out a little… Keith was suspecting that he was dead wrong. 

He was suspecting that that hidden character underneath whatever front Lance put up was actually something beautiful. 

That thought scared the hell out of him, but he couldn’t figure out why.

Disrupting Keith’s thoughts, the bell of the McDonald's door rang as it was opened. In walked a guy that Keith automatically didn’t like. He was wearing a private school uniform Keith recognized by a few other kids he’d seen in them. He had long white blond hair and a sharp face. He had the kind of features that screamed ‘i’m pretty and rich! Do whatever i want because of that!’ 

Keith watched as the guy noticed Lance, who had since gotten up off the floor, and started to walk over with a grin on his face. The second Lance had spotted him, his face turned even more sour than when he looked at Keith. 

Just then, Keith’s number was called out. He grabbed his fries and drink and made his way back to the table, where blondey and Lance were exchanging a few words. The atmosphere of the conversation was definitely tense, and Lance’s arms were crossed in front of him as if he wanted an extra layer between him and the guy. Keith put down his food on the table. He did so a bit too loud to alert the two that he was there. 

“And who is this?” The blond guy asked. He had an accent similar to Alluras. Only, Keith liked Alluras. This guy’s accent made him want to puke. 

“I was about to ask the same thing,” Keith said.

“I’m just a friend of Lance’s,” He replied. The word ‘friend’ made Lance’s jaw clench a bit. “What about you? Are you two… involved?” He said it as if each word was a poison directly heading for Lance. 

Keith stepped forward a bit, sizing the guy up. “What do you mean?” 

“Oh, you must excuse me,” He said with a fake laugh. “There was just this party i went to a few weeks back and i saw Lance there… getting friendly with some boy. I didn’t mean to assume anything.” 

Keith glanced over at Lance, whose jaw was now clenched so hard that he thought his teach were going to pop out. His fists were clenched as well. Every part of him screamed of anger, except for his eyes. Those were wide with vulnerability. Keith couldn’t put a pin on exactly what it was. Worry? Sadness? Exhaust? All he knew was that what this guy had said had struck a major chord. 

“Do you have any reason to be here?” Keith asked, stepping forward again. “I’d think a private school kid would be above this public school McDonalds.” 

“Last time i checked, it was public property,” he said. “I have as much a right to be here as you two do.” The way he said the last few words of the sentence held a deep animosity. 

“Sure, but the thing is, we’re kind of busy right now. We have a project and you’re distracting us,” Keith said, his own hands threatening to curl up into fists. “I think you should be going.” 

“Ah, well i didn’t mean to distract you two from… whatever you were up to,” He said. “I’ll leave you be.” With that, he left without even buying anything. It was clear that from the moment he spotted Lance, he had a mission. Whatever it was, he’d accomplished it, and now he was leaving happily. That made a fire burn deep inside Keith. 

As the door swing behind him, Keith realized that he had stepped in between Lance and the blond guy, subconsciously shielding Lance from him. 

“Who was that?” Keith asked, stepping aside. 

Lance didn’t meet his eye. His fists were still balled and Keith could tell that his fingernails were digging deep into his skin. Keith was used to Lance standing tall and taking loud, now he seemed to have shrunk several inches. “Some guy from Alluras school. His name his Lotor.” 

“He seems like a jerk,” Keith replied. 

Lance scoffed slightly. “That about sums it up.” He turned away from Keith and back to the table. He seemed to be doing everything to avoid looking at Keith. “Can we just… get back to the project.” 

Keith tried to study him more, but all he was getting was defense. He thought about how well the two got along when Lance let down his defence, put Lotor seemed to have put it up and welded it there. Only, this defense was different. It wasn’t the snarky, arrogant one Keith was used it, but a complete and utter shield of denial and isolation. 

Keith thought back to the two kinds of withholders. Just from one conversation Lance had gone to the talkative type to the isolated type.

“Uh, sure.” 

The two worked more, not saying a word for another fifteen minutes. Keith drank his soda and ate his fries, and at one point he took the change from the five dollars and put it on the table next to Lances bag. 

“Keep it,” Lance said, breaking the silence. “Keep the change.” 

“No,” Keith said firmly, leaving the money where he put it. 

There was more silence and no debate on Lance’s side. Lance put down what he had been working on and stood there for a few seconds, as if he needed time to really think things through.

Taking Keith by surprise, Lance looked over at him, which he hadn't done since Lotor had showed up. That vulnerability in his eyes was back and stronger than ever, and he just looked drained. It was like in the past fifteen minutes the guy had aged a thousand years. 

“It’s not true, by the way,” Lance said, his voice a mixture of anger and desperation. “What he said about that party and… what i was doing. It’s not true.” 

Keith met his eyes. “Okay.” 

And that was that. The two finished their projects, cleaned up, and went their separate ways. 

When Keith got home, there was a lot to think about. Probably too much. He thought of Lotor and the five dollars. He thought about he and Lance’s relationship and finished project. He thought of what Lotor had said about Lance and it made Keith’s head foggy again. 

Keith knew that there was something to what Lotor had said. He didn’t know if it was true or not, but he knew that something had happened at that party and he knew that it was effecting Lance beyond belief.

Keith still had his problems with Lance. He still wasn’t rushing into being best friends with the guy. What he did know, though, was that that hurt he saw on Lance had bothered him to his core. 

He wanted Lance’s face to stay how it was when his defense was gone. He wanted him to be a vision of warmth, and he wanted his eyes to stay forever in thought and imagination. He wanted that grin to replace the tight, angry lips Keith saw Lance wear while talking to Lotor. He wanted Lance to stay as Lance. 

As Keith closed his bedroom door and rolled onto his bed, he decided that he never wanted to see Lance as broken and worn as he had seen him then. 

That wasn’t Lance. Keith knew that.

Who was the real Lance? Keith wasn’t completely sure, but he was ready to figure it out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope u enjoyed!!! 
> 
> Please please please leave comments and kudos!!! feedback keeps me inspired to write and i appreciate it a lot :) There's also a lot more in store so make sure to subscribe or bookmark this fic!
> 
> My AP world exam is in a few days and i need to get into study mode, and then after that i have to prepare for regents, so next chapter might not be up for a while :( Follow my tumblr to stay updated.
> 
> Tumblr: [Lanceisthebest](https://lanceisthebest.tumblr.com/)


	3. You Deserve a Clear Mind; Someone Who’s There for You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With not only one but two new relationships in his life, Lance has a lot on his mind. Meanwhile, Keith gets more than one painful reminder of the life he lives and how he got there. 
> 
> As months come and go in the school year, Lance and Keith's relationship changes drastically.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A very Keith centric chapter (and a very long one at that) but next chapter will be very Lance centric.
> 
> If this chapter feels more fragmented than the last it's because there's a lot of time jumps here. The chapter happens throughout about three months.
> 
> Hope you enjoy! The end of this chapter is my fav part of the fic so far :)

The deeper into the year it got and the colder the weather became, the more Lance felt like his life was falling apart. 

His mind felt like a war and with school, he felt like he’d never be able to take a relaxed breath again. People weren’t kidding when they said junior year would be hard. The fact that Lance couldn’t focus for the life of him made it all worse. It felt like he was a small step away from getting a grasp on his classes, but then he’d fall a few steps back. It was a never ending cycle.

The events that transpired at the local McDonalds were plaguing his mind even more than school was, though. Lance had had an axe to grind with Lotor for a while, but he never would’ve thought he’d pull a stunt like the one he did. 

Lance remembered his acidic voice; the way each word burned through Lance’s veins and petrified him in silent agony. “Are you two… involved?” he’d asked Keith. Lance’s heart plunged to the floor at his words, knowing full well what he was about to reveal to Keith.

Lance’s eyes had been wide in anger. His lips were shut tightly, as if he had to physically stop a thread of harsh insults from escaping them. Even if he had spoken, though, it wouldn’t have been anything witty. It would’ve been emotional babbles fuelled both by anger and dread. 

The fact that the person there with him had been Keith gave Lance mixed emotions, ones he couldn’t put names to. He didn’t know what the expect from him, especially with the confusing rivalry they’d had. If anything, he was ready to get laughed at. He was ready to get embarrassed further. He was ready for the story of Lance at the party to be spread around the school by the next day. 

What Lance was not ready for was to be defended by Keith. Lance remembered forcing himself to look straight in front of him as to not meet his eye as Lotor’s words sent daggers into Lance’s petrified body. He could feel Keith’s eyes on him, though, and then he was in front of Lance. He’d stepped in front of Lance and told Lotor to back off. 

Lotor didn’t have any problem with leaving, as he’d done what he needed to do. His mission was completed. Why would he stay around to further kick Lance’s already dead body? Lance’s rage slowly turned to a feeling of helplessness and despair as Lotor disappeared through the McDonalds door. 

After Lance told Keith who Lotor was, Keith had said, “He seems like a jerk.” That comment had taken a small bit of weight off Lance’s back. Even if he wasn’t the biggest fan of Keith, him being on Lance’s side and not Lotor’s definitely helped the situation.

As the two continued to work on their projects, Lance still didn't look Keith in the eye. He just couldn’t. He couldn’t look at him at all. Shame from the information Lotor had shared mixed with gratefulness Lance felt towards Keith, but there was also confusion. 

Lance couldn’t put a pin on why Keith had defended him. His words had seemed angry and fueled… but why would he be so passionate about defending Lance, who’d admittedly been pretty steadily a jerk to him. Was it the five dollars he’d given him? It hadn’t really seemed like that big a deal to Lance. He was more agonizing over the act of being nice to Keith than giving him a measly five dollars. Was that Keith’s way to pay him back? 

While the pair worked wordlessly, Lance’s thoughts were so jumbled he could barely work on the project without messing it up. He didn’t know what lead him to speak, but it was important to Lance that he did so.

He’d said, “It’s not true, by the way. What he said about that party and… what i was doing. It’s not true.”

Keith had replied with a simple “okay”. The two locked eyes, and a jolt was sent down Lance’s spine at the softness. ‘Soft’ wasn’t a word Lance would acquaint with Keith, but that’s what had been there. There was understanding, and reassurance, and everything Lance had needed in that moment.

For just a few seconds, Lance forgot every fight he’d ever had with Keith. He forgot every mean comment the two would make to each other. For just a few seconds, Keith had been there for Lance in a way Lance would never had expected from him. 

When they both looked away, those memories of their rivalry came back to Lance, but it seemed like they had all happened years ago. They felt faded. Lance tried again to hate Keith; he tried to scoff to himself about his defensiveness and anger. It worked to a certain degree, but Lance just didn’t feel like his heart was in it. 

That strong hatred being gone, it scared Lance a bit. He felt exposed to Keith, and he felt like he was weaker than him. But there also seemed to be more of a weight off of Lance’s back. It felt like this cloud of gloom was starting to dispense.

Lance couldn’t put his finger on it. 

 

The next day in biology, Keith got out of his seat to place their project on the front table. 

Pidge and Hunk turned to Lance. “I'm surprised you guys actually have a project to turn in,” Hunk said. “Pidge and I had a bet on how long it would take you guys to kill each other.” 

Lance laughed lightly. “Sorry to disappoint,” he said.

“Are you two buddy buddy or something now?” Pidge asked. 

Lance pretended like he hadn’t been agonizing over that very question for the past day. “I dunno,” he said as nonchalauntly as he could. Luckily, Keith arrived back in his seat before the two could ask him to elaborate. 

It was a double period that day. After the first period finished, they had a lab to do in the second period. Lance had anticipated awkwardness between the two after the McDonald's incident, but it wasn’t that bad. There was less snark than usual; the two barely talked throughout the lab. It wasn’t awkward, though. It was… Lance couldn’t put a label on it. 

“Yesterday,” Lance began, taking in a big breath as if preparing to speak to a nerve wrackingly large crowd, “I didn’t tell you thanks. For getting Lotor out of there. So, thanks.” 

Keith glanced up at Lance, but only for a brief second, then he went back to working on the dichotomous chart they had to construct. “It was nothing. The guy was just a big bully.” 

Lance’s scoff came out more bitter than he had anticipated. “So, you telling him to leave had nothing to do with me?” 

This time, Keith looked at Lance and didn’t look back down. The questions seemed to have surprised him. Lance had meant it a bit sarcastically, but it hadn’t come out as such. “I mean… he just- he seemed to be bothering you a lot,” he stuttered out. “He didn’t have a place there and there was no reason for him to talk about you like that and… I wanted him out of there.”

Lance was a bit perplexed. Keith was usually a slow talker. In social settings he’d choose every word before he said it, except when he was angry. Lance, on the other hand, was the opposite. He’d talk loud and fast, as if he was scared someone was about to change the topic of conversation and he needed to get in a few last words. 

But just then, Keith had been a bit of a rambling idiot. Maybe there had been more to the reason he got Lotor to back off, but Lance tried not to dwell on it. 

“Anyway,” Lance said, “Now that we’ve handed in our project, we can fight like we planned to do. I’m looking forward to that.” 

Keith gave a slight smirk. “You’re looking forward to the day I demolish you?” 

“Meet me out back afterschool and we’ll see about that.” 

The two smiled for a few seconds. Keith cleared his throat. “You are… kidding right?” 

“Yes, i’m kidding,” Lance snorted. He looked around and cleared his throat. “We should… probably get back to work on this lab.” 

“Uh, yeah. Probably.” 

The two got through their lab with only a few small arguments, which was pretty good for them. During the lab, Lance noticed that Keith would slightly squint his eyes a little bit whenever he didn’t understand something. Just an observation. 

“Give me yours,” Keith said when they had finished. “I’ll turn it in.” Lance scribbled his name on his paper and handed it to Keith, who walked across the room to place their labs in the class folder. 

While he was gone, Pidge addressed Hunk and Lance. “Diner again tonight?” 

“Please,” Hunk said. “My grandmas in town, and I love her to death, but if she squeezes my cheek one more time… a crime will be committed. I need to get out of that house.” 

“So, a very passionate ‘yes’ from Hunk. Lance?” 

“I’m in. I’ll text Allura,” he said. 

The bell rang and Pidge and Hunk left for pre calc (nerds). Keith grabbed his bag and walked to the door, as did Lance. They walked the same way to their next class, which neither of them had noticed due to Lance leaving the classroom a bit earlier than Keith on most days. 

“Uh, where are you heading?” Lance asked. 

“English,” Keith responded. “You?” 

“U.S History.” 

“Cool.” 

“Yep.” 

Lance looked over at Keith. He walked with one strap of his backpack on his shoulder. His bag looked pretty light, and Lance wondered what kind of stuff he kept in it. Probably knives and a book titled ‘How to be as Mean as Possible to Lance Mcclain’. 

Lance didn’t know what came over himself. Suddenly he said, “Me and the gang are going to that diner again tonight. You can, you know, come. If you want.” 

Keith’s eyebrows slightly raised in surprise. Then he narrowed his eyes. “Why?” 

Lance awkwardly laughed. “Why are you so skeptical? Do you think i’m plotting to kill you at the diner or something?” 

“Maybe a little.” 

“Well, i’m not. For now, at least. Just… open invite,” Lance said as nonchalantly as he could. “Come if you want. I don’t care.” 

“Wow, so nice of you,” Keith said sarcastically. His eyes tore away from the hallway in front of him and he looked at Lance. “I’ll, uh, i’ll see. I’ll text you.”

Before Lance could respond, Keith took a turn in the hallway and walked away. 

Lance kept walking to his class while thinking, ‘why the hell did I just do that?’ 

 

A few hours later and Lance was sitting on his porch with his phone on the arm of his chair. He was watching birds fly by as he mulled a few things over in his head. 

Again, Lance wished to go back to how he was before this summer, when everything seemed so easy. Everything was so… simple. Then he kissed a guy. After that, he went on a date with a girl and was still seeing her even though he hadn’t made up his mind on if he liked her or not. To top it all off, there was Keith. 

Lance didn’t know why he couldn’t get that guy out of his head, but he couldn’t. Ever since McDonalds. And now, like the dumbass he was, Lance just had to go and invite Keith, a guy he was supposed to hate, to the diner with his friends. To add to that, he was sitting on a porch with his phone ringer all the way up so he’d know right away when Keith texted him. 

Lance had a theory that it was some knight-in-shining-armor thing. Keith stood up for him to Lotor and now Lance had this whole new image of him as some protector. It was bullshit, though. Keith was the same Keith that Lance had hated before that Mcdonalds incident. He wasn’t a ‘knight’... he wasn’t anything to Lance. 

So why had he invited him to the diner? 

Lance’s phone chimed and he grabbed it off the arm rest.

NYMA: HEY, WE STILL ON FOR TOMORROW?

LANCE: YOU KNOW IT

He put the phone back down without waiting for a reply. A minute later, there was another ding. He picked the phone up, thinking it was Nyma again. 

MULLET: OKAY

Lance scoffed at the text. 

LANCE: OKAY… WHAT? I’M NOT A MIND READER HERE

MULLET: I’LL GO. TO THE DINER. 

LANCE: KK. 7:30. 

Lance didn’t wait for a reply again, as he knew he wouldn’t be getting one. Keith had a certain act of avoiding human contact as much as possible. That’s why it weirded him out that Keith said yes to his half ass diner invite. 

An hour later and a quick ride from his dad to the diner and Lance had arrived. He was the second one there, and Hunk was the first. Then came Allura, and Pidge arrived shortly after.

Only when everyone, minus Keith, was there, did Lance realize that he had to tell him about a spontaneous invite he made. He had not thought this through. 

“Okay, everyone. There is… a slight possibility that someone who might be me… invited Keith to come here with us.” 

And Lance’s friends, being the nice people they were, made fun of him for several minutes. 

“Oh, you invited the guy you ‘hate’?” Hunk asked.

“What happened to all the ‘uhhh your hair is ugly uhhh’?” Pidge said, her voice imitating Lance’s in a very over exaggerated way.

“These aren’t hypothetical questions, Lance,” Allura said with a smile. “Spill it. Why’d you invite him?” 

Lance smacked his head down on the table and groaned. His friends were asking all the questions he had no answers forl. 

“I- i just- i guess he’s been, like, seven percent less of a jerk to me as he usually has been lately?” 

“Oh, Hunk, catch me,” Pidge said as she put her hand on her forehead as if she was an actress from the sixties. “All these heartfelt compliments towards Keith… i’m swooning.” 

Lance felt his face get hot. “Can you guys lay off?” 

“Lance, you should just use that for you and Keith’s wedding vows,” Hunk snickered. “I can imagine it. You’re in a church, he’s walking down the aisle, and you read, ‘i guess you’ve been seven percent less of a jerk to m-’”

“Whatever,” Lance said, his hands in the air. Lance didn’t know if they were up in an i-surrender way or a please-stop-talking way. “I have to take a leak.”

Without looking at anyone at the table, he got up from where he sat and walked to the bathroom. He didn’t pee or anything, he just stood in front of the mirror. He didn’t look at himself in it, and he didn’t think. Maybe the bathroom just initiated some sort of meditative state in Lance’s mind.

Then he started to feel antsy. He paced, he washed his hands, he ripped up paper towels. He started to think. So, he left the bathroom. 

He didn’t know how long he was in there, but when he returned to the table Keith was sitting there. This time he sat across from where Lance was, which was to the right of Allura. Pidge sat at the head of the table, and Keith was now sitting next to Hunk. 

“Did you have a nice ten minute pee?” PIdge asked. 

“Yes, I did, thank you,” Lance replied sarcastically. 

Keith looked at Lance and Lance looked at Keith. Just for a few seconds. That was enough to count as a greeting. 

Keith got a small order of fries and no drink, Hunk got another burrito, Pidge got a veggie burger, and Allura got waffles. Lance wasn’t all that hungry, so he just got a side sandwich. 

“Is that all you’re getting?” Keith said in a mocking tone of Lance’s voice. 

Lance scoffed. “Why is everyone badly imitating my voice today?”

“It’s fun making fun of you,” Pidge said, as if it were law. 

“Can we just move on to another subject that isn’t ‘making fun of Lance?’” Lance said, picking the crust off his sandwich. 

And so they did. The conversation moved swiftly away from Lance, as did everyone’s attention. Except for Keith. He kept Lance’s eye for a few more seconds. He squinted slightly, like when he didn’t understand something in biology. Maybe he didn’t understand Lance. Hell, Lance didn’t even understand Lance.

They all talked and munched like the last time they went to the diner, only plus Lance’s bad mood. It got late and they got bored so the five looked for new scenery. They agreed on taking a walk through a nearby park. 

“This is kinda creepy,” Hunk said. “What if someone, like, tries to kill us?”

Lance looked around. It was pretty creepy. Tall trees were dark silowets against the violet and darkening sky. Insects chirped from all around. There was a chill to the air that felt isolating and menacing. 

There was also some other energy to it. Some excitement in the air in the face of an adventure. Adrenaline pumping at the dark and unknown. Lance remembered that this was the same park that it was in the daytime. The same exact park, though it felt so different. 

He sauntered on forward, his friends tailing him. “If someone tries to kill us they’ll turn and run the second they see Keith’s outfit.” 

“What’s wrong with his outfit?” Keith mumbled. 

Admittedly, there was nothing wrong with it. It was his usual T-shirt and jeans, plus his red bomber jacket. “Let’s go!” Lance instructed, pretending not to hear Keith. 

The stone path took them deep into the park. Streetlights and the occasional passing car gave them a little bit of light. Pidge walked behind Hunk, who didn’t look much braver than she did. Allura didn’t seem too bothered, though she’d quickly snap her head towards anything that made sound. 

Keith just looked like he was taking a stroll through a lively and light filled park, not the dark version they were currently in. It made Lance wonder if he did this stuff a lot; come face to face with the unknown.

No one vocalized their fear. They talked about the same stuff they did in the restaurant, plus a few “what was that?”s at any noise amongst the trees. 

Like teens do, they talked about the latest gossip and people they hated. It was mostly just retelling stories about bad things one of their ex friends would do. The story was always the same, and everyone knew it, but they were always retold. No one cared, though. 

The topic of conversation changed to Lotor, which Lance had sort of expected.

“I hate how he’s nice,” Pidge said. “Like he sounds nice, but really he’s just a passive aggressive, patronizing piece of crap.” 

Lance saw Keith raise an eyebrow, no doubt curious about what Lotor had done to get this treatment. 

“I haven’t seen him in a while,” Hunk said. 

“I have,” Lance cut in. Keith looked over at him. Lance explained about McDonalds, leaving out the part about the party. Keith's eyes lingered on Lance, no doubt noticing the missing part of the story. 

Lance let his friends exchange “what’s his deal?”s and “can’t he just leave you alone?”s, but he didn’t reply or even listen much. He mostly just thought about how Lotor was just one person who saw that kiss. It wasn’t exactly hidden. There was a big chance that more people saw it. People who held a vulnerability against Lance. He didn’t like the idea of people he didn’t even know being able to press the ‘self destruct’ button on Lance. 

As Lance’s friends moved onto the next topic of conversation, he hung back slightly, not in a talkative mood. Keith had the same idea, lingering behind the group during the entire walk. 

They wordlessly walked together, laughter bouncing off the trees from the group in front of them, who seemed to have forgotten their fear of the dark woods. 

“Why did you invite me?” Keith asked suddenly, his voice a knife penetrating their isolated silence. 

Lance looked over at him. “I don’t know.” He didn’t say it in a snarky way, or a comedic way, or a sad way. I was just factual. He didn’t try to make excuses; he just didn’t know.

Lance expected a follow up from Keith, but he didn’t get one. He guessed that that answer was good enough for him. 

“Why didn’t you tell them about… what Lotor said?” Keith asked. 

Lance exhaled. “I don’t know,” he said again. This time, there was a bit of sadness to the factualness. 

Lance looked Keith in the eye, and he was beginning to suspect that Keith didn’t buy the lie that Lance had told him, that what Lotor said hadn’t happened. 

The two looked away from each other and focussed on the stone path in front of them. They didn’t talk or say anything else, but neither one of them strayed away from each other. They just walked side by side. That was it.

“Hey, slowpokes,” Allura called. “What are you doing back there?” 

“Nothing.” Lance glanced over at Keith, then he hurried up his steps a little bit until he had caught up with the group. 

“So, Lance,” Allura said. “How have your dates been with Nyma?” 

“Yeah, you haven’t said anything about them,” Pidge said. “Spill the beans.” 

“Oh, good,” Lance said. “She’s really cool, and super pretty.” 

“Are you going out with her again?” Hunk asked. 

 

“Yeah, we’re going for a walk tomorrow.” 

The group got to talking about those bits of information, but again, he didn’t really listen much to what they were saying. He was just thinking about those dates. ‘Good,’ he had called them. They were good. Lance decided then and there that they were good. 

Lance tuned out again, not thinking of much. He lagged behind the group, now walking in between them and Keith. 

At some point, Allura said, “Hello? You two?” 

“What?” Lance said, snappin out of it. 

“Yeah?” Keith said. He must've been deep in thought.

“We’re gonna go get ice cream,” Pidge explained. “C’mon.” 

“Uh, actually I think i’m just gonna head home,” Lance said. 

The group in front of him stopped walking. 

“Why?” Hunk asked. “You alright?” 

“Yeah, just feeling a little sick. You guys go ahead.” 

“I’m gonna head home, too,” Keith said before the group could reply. “Wanna get some homework outta the way.” 

“You guys sure?” Allura asked. 

Once the two assured them that they were sure, they walked across the street to the ice cream place. The first ‘C’ in the glowing ‘Ice Cream’ sign was out. Lance wasn’t against some good ‘I e cream,’ but he’d just decided in the moment that he couldn’t sit down and socialize anymore. 

“I’m… walking back to the diner,” Lance told Keith once they were alone. “I’m getting picked up there.” 

“I’m going that way to get home,” Keith said. 

“Okay.” 

The two walked together. Lance had not realized until then how far they had walked through the park. 

After a few minutes of silence, Lance spoke up. “Sorry about… inviting you then dashing.” 

“It’s whatever,” Keith said. “You leaving gave me an out, too. Not that I didn’t and don’t want to be here, i’m just… tired.” 

“Me too,” Lance said. 

Keith looked like he was about to say something, but he must’ve decided against it. 

Finally, they reached the diner. Lance stood in front of it and Keith kept walking. 

“See you,” Lance said. 

“Bye,” Keith said back. Then he walked away. 

 

“I have good news,” Lance said. 

“Hm?” Nyma responded, taking a sip of her coffee they’d gotten from a Starbucks near her house. Now they were just walking the streets, making fun of and finding amusements in little things. 

“I’m taking my drivers test this week. If everything goes right, my mom doesn’t have to drive me to all my dates.” 

“That’s cool,” she replied. She elbowed him playfully. “To ‘all your dates’? Are all these dates dates with me or other girls.” 

“That depends,” Lance blushed slightly. 

“On what?” 

“If you want to go out again.” 

Nyma smiled a bit. “We should probably start walking back to my place. If you manage to keep up your charm for another twenty minutes, then i’d love to be picked up for a date by you and not your mom.” 

“No pressure on me, then.” 

The two continued to walk, their hands linked together between them, slightly swinging with each step. Nyma had warmish hands, and they were always soft. Her nails also managed to always be painted. He never even saw as much as a chip on them.

When she was caught off guard, Lance would take in little bits of her. She had very dark brown eyes. They weren’t the kind that popped in sunlight, but they were so expressive. In contrast to her blonde hair that framed her face, they drew such attention to her face. 

After a twenty minute walk, which Lance was very self conscious during due to the whole ‘keeping up the charm’ thing, they arrived at Nyma’s house. It was a medium sized house right where the city turned to the suburbs. Parts of the house looked newly done, other parts looked old. Lance wondered if they were in the middle of renovating to sell the house.

“This is me, obviously,” she said, with a bit of a nervous laugh. 

“Yeah,” Lance responded. 

The two stood on her porch for a few minutes. The sun was starting to set, creating an orange glow around them. 

They didn’t say much, just stood there. 

Causing Lance a small heart attack, Nyma asked suddenly, but gentilly, “Can I kiss you?”

With widened eyes, Lance choked out an, “Mhm,” and then her lips were on his, and he kissed her back, and his mind went blank from everything going on at once. 

Lance couldn’t say how long they kissed. He couldn’t tell you exactly how it felt, because he was honestly not convinced it actually happened. His mind must’ve just… erased it due to too much emotion. 

He did remember, though, saying, “so does this mean i get to take you out on a date, minus my mom?” 

“We’ll see,” Nyma said with a smirk before closing the door to her house behind her. 

Lance turned on his heel and walked home, a small smile and blush on his face the whole way. 

\------------

Cold air got colder and day by day, more of the ground was covered by leaves of festive colors. Before Keith even knew it, it was mid October. 

Halloween decorations started popping up around the school; a string of paper bats here, LED plastic jack-o-lanterns there. Keith didn’t have much of an opinion on halloween, but the growing excitement of the upcoming holliday was a bit infectious. 

In biology, Lance talked a lot about the holiday. He spoke of his past costumes, the family traditions he has, and he brainstormed costumes outloud. Keith didn’t really know if he was really talking to him, or if he was speaking to himself.

Lance and Keith’s relationship… it was different, especially after that night at the diner. Lance had seemed to be in a bad mood. Something was definitely on his mind, and after Lance avoided telling his friends what Lotor had said about that party, Keith had a few hunches. Lance had told Keith that what Lotor said wasn’t true, and Keith was trying to respect that, but the way Lance looked whenever he was reminded of it… Keith’s mind wandered. 

At the diner, the two seemed to be on the same page. They barely spoke the whole night, but there wasn’t much animosity. They were both quiet and a bit isolated; Keith just being himself, and Lance troubling himself with whatever was on his mind. They had walked together in silence, but it wasn’t tense or angry, it was just silence.

After the weekend was over, Lance was back to being his lively self. Keith did notice, though, that throughout the past two weeks there were a few days when he was silent. He’d reply to his friends when they said something to him, but other than that, he seemed preoccupied with something. Maybe just himself and his own thoughts, which Keith could relate to.

“What do you do for Halloween?” Lance asked Keith after talking about himself for the whole period.

“Nothing, really,” Keith said. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. When I was really little i’d dress up and stuff, but not so much recently.” 

“Why not?” Lance asked, finishing his notes and looking up at Keith. 

Keith hesitated for a few seconds. “Few reasons.” 

“Like what?” 

Keith scoffed, looking up at Lance. “Has anyone told you that you’re really pushy?” 

“Only every day of my life. What ‘few reasons’?” 

Keith took a few seconds, trying to decide how to give a vague but true enough answer to get Lance off his back. “I live in an apartment, for starters. There aren’t many kids there, so we don’t really get anyone coming to the door. I also never really have any inspiration for a costume. I’m not the most social person, so i’ve never really had many people to go out and do things with.” 

“You live in an apartment?” Lance asked, intrigue on his face. 

“That’s the only thing you got from that?” Keith asked with an eyebrow raised. “Yes, I live in an apartment.”

“So you live in the city?” 

“Yeah. Why else would I walk home from the diner?”

“Oh,” Lance said, “Yeah.” 

“I take it you live in the suburbs, then?”

“Uh, yeah.”

That was the end of their conversation. From what Keith had heard, he and Lance had very different home lives. Lance mentioned having a few siblings, as well as a mom and a dad, both of which Keith couldn’t relate to. 

Even if the two could relate a bit emotionally, practically every other aspect about them was different. 

Keith imagined Lance coming home to a big family. He imagined them eating around a big dining table in their big house, talking about little things like how their days were. 

Keith certainly couldn’t relate to that. Before this year, family dinners consisted of him and his father, no words being shared between them. That was only on the rare occasion when his father was home, and when he was, he usually didn’t cook. When he did, it was usually something like mac and cheese or a PB and J.

So, there was Keith on one side of the table, his father on the other, and quietness between them. 

Family dinners now consisted of Shiro and Keith. Shiro on one side of the table, Keith on the other, and some sort of college kid food between them. Usually ramen. Shiro would do most of the talking, and Keith would just listen. That is, unless Shiro asked something that hit too close to home, and then Keith was yelling. 

Lance probably didn’t have family dinners like that. He probably didn’t have tension you could cut with a knife. He probably didn’t eat PB and J’s every night. He probably didn’t go through the day feeling guilty about taking up money that could be spent on better food. 

He probably didn’t need to worry about stuff like that. 

The two boys were very different. 

 

Keith found himself taking more and more walks.

He had sort of an informal schedule. He’d get home from school, do his homework as a distraction, finish his homework and look for a new distraction, sit in his room, start thinking about the boxes taunting him from the corner of his small room, then he’d leave. 

Keith never left with anywhere specific in mind. He’d just walk and then find himself somewhere. Since he lived in the city, that wasn’t a hard thing to do. You walk a block and find yourself somewhere; usually in front of a sketchy restaurant or wall of graffiti. 

There was one time when he got on a bus. He had no destination in mind. He just rode until he saw something. He saw a familiar street name. He remembered walking past that street sign when he was a kid and he’d do what he had start doing again; walking with nowhere to go. 

Keith kept riding as he saw more and more familiarity. It made his stomach churn, but he couldn’t get off the bus. He’d see a certain tree and know exactly what he’d see at the next turn. Then, the bus would turn and he would be right. 

The bus was exiting the city and entering the neighboring suburbs, and things were getting uncomfortably nostalgic for Keith, but he didn’t get off. 

Then, he was the last person on the bus and the driver told him he had to get off or ride back to where he started, so Keith got off. He kept walking past those street signs. He kept predicting what was going to be at the next turn, and then he was right. 

The area wasn’t exactly the city, but it definitely wasn’t a nice part of town. The houses were close together and paint chipped off them, a sign of past life and memories in a now dull house. 

Keith’s legs hurt and his phone didn’t have much charge. The little money he had was now spent and the sky was turning orange as the sun dipped below the horizon. Still, he kept walking. He didn’t stop walking. 

Then, he stopped cold in his tracks. He saw a certain street sign, and he knew exactly what waited for him at the next turn. He felt frozen, and he asked himself if he wanted to keep going. 

Keith took a deep breath, then made the turn. 

He walked and counted one, two, three, four, five, slabs of concrete on the sidewalk, and there it was. 

The house had once been a bright orange, but it had faded to a brown before Keith and his father had even moved into it. It was chipped like the others were, but Keith knew exactly what life and events had happened in that house, and he knew that the house had been dull way before he had left it. 

Keith was dizzy. He had to sit down, but there was nowhere to sit. He sat on the sidewalk, his legs folded in like a kid. He wanted to look away, but he couldn’t. 

He thought about all the people who would walk this sidewalk and look at the house, and they’d feel the same way Keith did when he looked at all the other unfamiliar houses on the street. They wouldn’t know what went on in that house; they wouldn’t know of Keith’s excitement as a child as he’d wait for his father to get home; they wouldn’t know the slight disappointment he’d feel when his father didn’t come home for days at a time; they wouldn’t know how numb Keith eventually got to his father’s absence. 

They wouldn’t know the confusion Keith had as he watched flashing police cars pull into the cracked and small driveway; they didn’t know the similar numbness Keith felt when he was finally told what was happened. 

They wouldn’t know that after that numbness wore off, Keith threw up for a half an hour. No one knew that, except for Keith. Even he tried to forget about it. 

Keith continued to sit in that curled up way until the sun was almost completely down. He didn’t know how long he sat there, but he kept listing things people wouldn’t know.

They wouldn’t know how fast Keith grew up in that house; They didn’t know how dark his mind got in that house; They didn’t know how he’d smoke and curse and fight just to get his father's attention, and then he wouldn’t even get that. 

Eventually, Keith ran out of things to think about, though he still felt like he’d only scratched the surface of his memories in that house. 

He rose to his feet, which took him by surprise; Keith assumed that he’d just stay in that spot forever.

Not having any money for a bus back, Keith walked for an hour. It was dark, and it was scary, but Keith didn’t care. He didn’t care if he got mugged for nonexistent money; he didn’t care if he got hollard at; he didn’t care if he got shot or stabbed or beat. He didn’t care.

He finally got back to the apartment, and Shiro was waiting for him. 

“Where the hell where you?” He said. Keith knew it was bad. Shiro rarely raised his voice. 

“Out.” 

“Out where? You’ve been gone hours,” He said. “I was about to call the police.” 

“Sorry,” Keith said. “I didn’t know how late it got.” 

“Where were you?”

“Out.” 

“You already said that. Out where, specifically?” The anger in his voice diminished and was replaced by worry. Keith guessed that he didn’t look so good.

“I… I should go to bed. It’s a school night.” 

He started to walk towards his room, but Shiro caught him by the arm. 

“What’s wrong? Do you feel okay?” 

“I went back to the house,” Keith said. Not ‘my house’, just ‘the house’. “The old house.” 

“...Why?” Shiro asked, more and more worry filling his voice. Keith hated it. 

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be out so late. Am I grounded?”

Shiro’s hand slipped off Keith’s arm. “I- Uh… No. You’re not.” 

With that, Keith walked to his bedroom, Shiro standing still behind him. He closed the bedroom door behind him and turned off the lights. He didn’t change into pajamas, and he didn’t put his phone on the charger. He just covered himself in a blanket and laid in his bed. 

He knew Shiro was mad and worried, and Keith knew he’d be feeling guilty about that the next day, but in that moment he didn’t care. 

Before Keith fell asleep, Keith thought hard. He thought: If a fire started in his bedroom, a fire like the ones his father set, would that be enough to get him out of that bed? Or would he just stay there, pretending nothing was happening until the flames swallowed him?

He thought the second option was more likely. 

He didn’t care. He didn’t care about anything. 

 

Keith and Lance’s biology class was assigned a new project as October was coming to a close. The two boys were to work on it together, like the last project they did. 

Keith’s heart didn’t sink at that, not having much room in himself for animosity against Lance. Keith was open to the distraction of a project, as well. Especially after his unplanned visit to his old house. 

After that visit, Keith felt drained for a while. He spoke less than he usually did, his mind being taken up by past memories he was trying to forget. Shiro noticed a change in him and asked him several times, but Keith just pretended that nothing had happened. 

The mental toll it took on Keith was fading away, but he still just needed a distraction. What better distraction than a lab about heart rate done with your weird frienemy?

“When do you want to work on this thing?” Lance asked as they started packing up towards the end of the period. 

“I’m free whenever.” 

“Wanna work on it this weekend?” 

“Where?” 

“You, uh, can come over to my house. If you want,” Lance said after a few seconds. 

Keith was taken by surprise a bit. He felt like he’d just been let into some secret part of Lance. It wasn’t really secret, though, as Lance had gone on and on about his siblings and parents. 

“Sure,” he replied. “Text me the time and address.” 

“Will do,” Lance replied, shouldering his bag and following his friends out the doorway. 

As Keith went through the rest of his day, he thought more and more about what he’d find at Lance’s house. Lance definitely was a pent up guy, and maybe that had to do with his homelife. 

Being invited to his house, Keith felt like he had just gotten access to the key to Lance; he received the decoder of his special language. 

For the rest of the day, Keith awaited Lance’s text, until finally he got it. 

JACKASS: HERE’S MY ADDRESS. 

 

1 PM ON SATURDAY?

KEITH: OKAY. 

He felt weird about going to Lance’s house, but he was also anxiously awaiting it. 

Again, he just needed a distraction. 

 

“Can you drive me to Lance’s house later?” Keith asked Shiro on saturday morning. 

Shiro nearly spit out the milk accompanying the cereal he just ate. “You’re hanging out with Lance?” 

“Do you have a problem with him or are you just shocked i’m going over to someone's house?” 

“The second thing,” Shiro said with no shame. 

“It’s just for a bio project. We’re not like… friends,” Keith said, a bit of uncertainty to his voice. 

“Lance is nice, though,” Shiro said. “He can be a bit… much at times, but he’d be a good friend.” 

Keith scoffed at Shiro’s understatement. “Friend or not, we need to get this project done. Can you drive me?” 

“No problem.” 

A few hours later and Keith was getting ready to leave. He felt like he was going undercover and should’ve had a wire or something. He didn’t know why this whole thing was so complicated in his mind. He was just going over to a house to do a boring biology project. 

The second Shiro’s car pulled into Lance’s driveway, Keith felt out of breath.

The house was pretty big. Instead of dull and holding chipped paint to show years of life in the house, there were other signs. Soccer balls in their large yard; the smell of barbeque making its way to the front of the house; two cars in the seperate garage. 

The house was a light, warm brown. White stone steps lead up to the porch full of hanging plants and windchimes. There was a strip of colorful flowers that spanned the outside of the house. Everything about the house was… perfect. It was together; it was collaborative; it was, well, a home. A warm, welcoming home. 

It made Keith’s blood run cold. 

Keith got out and walked to the front door, feeling like he was walking to his slaughter. He rang the doorbell and a few seconds later he heard loud feet running down the staircase. Keith saw a small head peak through the glass surrounding the door to see who was there. The young boy looked pretty similar to Lance.

“Lance!” The boy shouted after seeing who was there. 

A few seconds later, Keith heard a new set of footsteps appear inside. Finally, the large wood door swung open

“Hey,” Lance said. 

“Hey.” 

“Oh, come in,” Lance remembered to say. 

Keith stepped into the house, and the inside was as lovely and nice as the outside. There were framed pictures on many of the walls and flowers in vases. The house wasn’t too large, but it was basically triple the size of anything Keith had ever lived in. The decor was rustic and old, but not outdated. 

“Are you hungry?” Lance asked, his hands gesturing to what Keith guessed was the direction of the kitchen. “My dad just made lunch.” 

“Uh, no. I’m fine,” Keith said. 

“We can just go up to my room and start working, then.” 

Lance started towards the staircase near the front door and Keith followed. The upstairs was similar to the downstairs. Through a narrow hallway, the two passed a bathroom and three bedrooms. They arrived at the fourth bedroom, which was the last one in the hallway. 

Lance’s bedroom was nice. A bit messy, but not distractingly so. His walls were a light blue and the floors were a warm dark brown. Hi bed was horizontal against the furthest wall of the room. On the right wall was a desk next to a closet. On the opposite wall was a small bookshelf.

The desk had wrappers and papers spread out upon it. Against the wall was a line of trinkets. Some seemed to be from vacations, some just didn’t make sense to Keith. They must’ve held some sentimental value to Lance. On the wall above the desks was a string of polaroid photos. Keith only glanced at them but he made out Hunk, Pidge, and Allura in a few. 

The bookshelf didn’t have too many books on it. Keith never did take Lance as reader. There were, though, some comics that looked a bit old and worn. There were a few books, as well, that must’ve been favorites of Lance. Each had worn spines and ripped covers. 

The whole room was indicative of the different lives Keith and Lance lead. Keith’s room was small and as impersonal as possible. Lance’s was large and held sentiment at each corner. 

“You can put your stuff anywhere,” Lance instructed. He got a few papers off his desk and sat on the ground against his bed. Keith followed suit and sat with his back facing the door.

“Any ideas?” Lance asked. 

“Kinda,” Keith said. “I actually understand this project for once.” 

“Yeah,” Lance scoffed in agreement. “Not really hard to understand the heart. Well, the physical aspect of it, at least. Emotionally, that’s a whole different story.” 

Keith suppress a smile. 

“What?” 

“Since when have you been a poet.” 

“‘Since when’? I’ve always had a way with words.” 

Keith laughed more. “The other day you forgot the word for ‘juice’ so you said ‘fruit liquid’.” 

Lance blushed a bit. “Anyway, we need to make our own experiment to test the effect of something on heart rate.” 

“I’m aware.” 

“So what should we test?” 

Keith thought for a second. “The effect of music?” 

“Everyone’s gonna do that one. Exercise?” 

“That too basic.” 

“Hm…” Lance thought out loud. “Oh, how about the effect of someone?” 

“What do you mean?” 

“Like we could test how different heart rate changes if someone takes your pulse verse if you do it yourself.” 

Keith thought about it for a few seconds. “That could actually work,” Keith said. “Both of us could take people's heart rates and they could take their own and we could record the three rates.” 

“Sounds like a plan,” Lance said. “Look at us, already kicking ass.” 

“We got an 89 on our last project. We gotta beat that.” 

“Two goals for this project: get above an 89, and refrain from killing each other.” 

The two kept working. Lance got out his laptop and started typing up the report while Keith worked out the kinks of their experiment. 

At one point the floorboards creaked outside Lance’s door, which was closed. Lance rolled his eyes. 

“I know you’re there, Marco,” Lance said, annoyance stinging his voice. 

Keith turned to face the door, which was now opening. The young boy he saw earlier was there, looking shy in the presence of Keith’s company. 

“Can I use your D.S?” He asked. 

Lance sighed loudly. “Use Veronicas.” 

“She’s on hers.” 

“Mine’s not charged.” 

“Give me the charger.” 

“If I do will you go away?” Lance asked with an eyebrow raised. 

“Yeah.” 

Lance got up and dug through a drawer in his desk, pulling out an old, blue D.S and it’s grey charger. “Here,” he said, handing it to Marco. 

“What game is in it?” 

“I don’t know, i haven’t touched the thing in two years.” 

“Do you still have the sonic game.” 

“Marco, i’m about to call mom up here.” 

“No you won’t.” 

Lance took in a deep, over exaggerated breath as if he was about to scream. 

“No, no! Fine!” And then Marco disappeared, closing the door behind him. 

“Works every time,” Lance said with a smirk, sitting back down. “Do you have siblings?” 

“Uh, no,” Keith responded. 

Lance scoffed with an eyebrow raised. “Lucky you,” he said. 

Bitterness stung inside of Keith. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “Lucky me.” 

They got to work, Keith’s mind unable to stray away from the idea of having siblings. Would things have ended up differently if there was more on the line? Two or three or and four kids depending on you instead of only one? Even if that hadn’t stopped his father, Keith would’ve had someone to go through everything with. He wouldn’t have had to be alone through it all. 

They worked for another hour and a half and it started to get dark out, the air getting colder by the day and the nights getting longer. 

Keith’s eyes wandered as they worked. He scanned the string of photos closer, and to his surprise he found a photo with Shiro in it. It was a selfie with Lance, Hunk, and Pidge, Shiro wearing an amused smile next to Pidge. 

When they were about done for the day, there was a knock at the door, and a few seconds later it swung open. 

A woman that was definitely Lance’s mother stepped lightly into the room. Her long, chocolate hair was in a loose bun at the back of her head. She wore a casual, flowey, black t shirt against skin slightly darker than Lance’s. She smelled of soil and had green gloves sticking out of her jean pockets. She perfectly went with the house, the siblings, and Lance’s room full of sentiment. 

“Heyyo,” Lance said in greeting. 

“Hey,” She replied, her voice smooth and but lively. “Dinner’s soon. Will you be staying… it’s Keith, right?” 

Keith hadn’t told her his name, so Lance must’ve. He was a bit surprised at the proposal. “Uh, I should get going soon. Thank you, though. Nice of you to offer.” 

“It’s no problem,” She said with a warm smile. “You’re welcome here anytime.” 

Lance asked her a question and they talked for a bit, but Keith was no longer listening. He was feeling a bit nauseous, his head spinning like when he had sat down in front of his old house. 

Lance’s mom only said a few sentences to Keith, but in only those few sentences she had shown more care for Keith than he remembering his own mother had. 

She treated Keith like she was his mom. The mom he never had. The mom he wanted. 

The door had closed, and Lance was trying to get Keith’s attention. He’d zoned off as his mind raced some more, thinking of the house they were in, and Lance’s room, and his annoying siblings, and his loving mother. 

Keith stood up quickly, the act not made consciously. Lance stood up with him. 

“Keith?” Lance asked. Keith would later realize that there was worry in his voice, like in Shiro’s when Keith had gotten home after hours of walking. 

“I have to go,” Keith said, inhaling quickly. 

“Oh. Is your ride h-” 

“I- I have to go. I’m sorry.” 

If his bag hadn’t been next to the door, Keith would have forgotten it. He didn’t remember walking downstairs and leaving Lance’s house. He came too after he’d walked for who knows how far. 

He called Shiro and tried to look okay to avoid questions, because Keith knew he couldn’t answer any of them. 

All Keith knew was that he was feeling heartsick, and overall terrible. He also was feeling guilty for storming out on Lance. 

He felt guilty for hating the people who happened to have the life Keith envied above anything. 

 

“Were you okay on saturday?” Lance asked hesitantly. 

Throughout biology on monday, the two shared awkward words about what they were doing in class, no mention of Keith storming out until the two walked to their next class together. 

“Uh, Yeah?” Keith said, pretending like he had no idea what Lance was talking about. 

“You just looked… kinda panicky.” 

“I wasn’t,” Keith said. 

“Yeah, you were.” 

“I really wasn’t, so can you just get out of my business and drop it?” Keith snapped. He was about to turn the hallway away from Lance until Lance roughly grabbed Keith’s shoulder. 

“Hey, don’t yell at me for being worried!” Lance spat. “You’re the one who stormed out of my house abrupt, totally ignoring me, while you looked like you were about to throw up. So yeah, i’m asking what was up, because you scared me. I’m not the one in the wrong here, so don’t yell at me!” 

Saying Keith was caught by surprise was an understatement. Sure, Lance had yelled at him before, but those were just petty fights about stupid stuff. Lance was seriously pissed off, and it was actually a bit scary. 

“I- uh,” Keith stuttered out. Lance’s hand was hard and unyielding on his shoulder.

“Whatever,” Lance scoffed, his voice bitter and acidic. “I have to get to class. Do me a favor and get over yourself, Keith.” 

With that, he let go of Keith and stormed down the hall, leaving Keith standing dumbfound in the middle of the hallway. Keith felt even worse than he did before.

 

For the rest of the week, the two barely spoke to each other, avoiding eye contact all together.

Luckily, they wasn’t too forced to interact. The class had a few days to conduct their experiments on their classmates to get the data they needed. The two just had to take the other students pulse and record it, only sharing choice words. 

After each class, Lance would grab his bag and walk out fast, not giving Keith another look. Pidge and Hunk looked like they didn’t know what to do. They looked a bit confused at times, which surprised Keith, as he assumed Lance would be ranting to his friends about how much of a jerk Keith really was. 

Lance’s avoidance of Keith was definitely out of anger. Keith caught a few glares from him, and the few words he spoke always had an edge to them. There was something more to it though; there was something feuling that anger, but Keith couldn’t figure it out.

Keith’s avoidance of Lance was guilt. Every point Lance made was completely true. Keith was in the wrong and he knew it. It wasn’t that he couldn’t get off his high horse or admit his mistake, he just didn’t know how to apologize. Every time he opened his mouth to say something, he felt like he couldn’t speak at all. 

This was all weird for Keith. He wasn’t used to… caring about people's emotions. Throughout the week, Keith just tried to scoff it off; telling himself that Lance’s anger meant nothing to him. He couldn’t convince himself of that, though. 

Their project was due on friday and they were still avoiding each other on thursday. At the end of biology, Lance walked up to Keith with his arms crossed. 

“Meet me at the coffee place after school today,” He said, his voice still as full of venom as it had been in the hallways days early. “We need to finish this stupid project.” 

“Okay,” Was all Keith said, and then Lance walked out of the room. 

Throughout english, Keith didn’t think much. His eyes skimmed the words he was supposed to be reading, but his mind wasn’t there. It was nowhere. 

He probably should’ve made a mental script of the apology he should’ve given to Lance a week ago, but he didn’t. He just sat there, his stomach filling with butterflies everytime he thought about the tension and anger filled encounter he’d be making after class. 

When the bell rang, Keith went up to Shiro. 

“Hey,” Shiro said. “I have to stay here for a bit. Do you think you can take the bus.” 

“I have to stay after with Lance, anyway,” Keith told him. 

“Do you need money?” Shiro asked, like usual. 

“No,” Keith said, like usual. 

“Text me when you’re done,” Shiro said. 

Keith said okay and started walking towards the coffee house. He had to cross two roads to get there, waiting patiently for the busses to leave so he wouldn’t get hit. The cold wind pierced his skin, but he didn’t roll his jacket sleeves down.

He made it to the coffee shop and opened the door, which felt like they were welded shut. Lance was holding a coffee and was walking to the table his backpack was at. They usually sat around there; this table was in the back left corner, more isolated from the other tables. 

Keith, not getting a coffee, walked straight there. He put his backpack on the ground next to the empty chair and sat down, Lance looking at him and saying nothing. Keith said nothing, too. 

Lance got his laptop out of his bag and opened it up, typing in his password and opening up the google doc. “We need to put the data in the chart, then write a conclusion. Then we’re done.” 

“Okay,” Keith said. “I have the data here.” He took out the loose leaf piece of paper with all the data they took of their classmates and he handed it to Lance. 

Lance typed it into the data table. “There are two missing,” Lance said when he was done. “I thought we only needed to take five people’s pulse.” 

“Me too.” Keith took out the sheet describing the project. “Oh. It says seven here.” 

“What? That’s such a specific number how were we supposed to remember that?” Lance exclaimed. 

“Maybe if we actually talked to each other we wouldn’t have gotten that mixed up.” 

Lance sent him a glare. He said nothing, but his look was enough to say ‘shut up’. “What do we do then?”

“We can just do the experiment to ourselves,” Keith said. 

“I don’t feel great about having your fingers on my neck but whatever,” He said. “I’ll take yours first.” 

Keith got out the stopwatch on his phone to keep time as Lance scooted closer. He put two fingers on Keith’s neck, finding his pulse. His hands were warm, and he smelled like coffee. 

When Keith looked at Lance’s face so close, he found so much hardness. He realized then how much he missed his stupid smirk and light eyes. After what happened at McDonalds, Keith had thought that he never wanted to see such sadness and hardness in Lance’s usually lively face. 

“Stop,” Keith said, Lance only taking his pulse for a few seconds. 

“What?” 

“Just, stop. And listen.” 

Lance took his hands away and sat back in his chair, his arms crossed. His face still held the anger it had all week, but now one of his eyebrows was raised in curriorsity 

“Why I freaked out at your house… It’s because you have everything that I want. You have a big house, and flowers, and trinkets in your room and photos of all your friends. You have annoying siblings, and you have a mom and a dad who make you dinner and asks your guests if they want dinner.” 

Lance’s face started loosing it’s anger, he sat slightly forward in his chair, and Keith then realized that his own hands were shaking, along with his voice. 

“I- I don’t have anything. You asked me why i was getting a ride with shiro, and it’s because I live with him. I live with him in a small, shitty apartment where my bedroom is basically a closet. Your mom didn’t even know me and she asked me to stay for dinner, while Shiro and I can’t even afford dinner some nights because he just got out of college and in no way planned to be caring for a teenager right now.” 

Keith’s voice was getting faster and more frantic. At first, he had been carefully choosing his sentences, but his words were unraveling now, saying everything he had thought since he moved in with Shiro.

His words were unraveling alongside that dam he built to keep the words from leaking out. 

“I don’t have siblings, and I- I don’t even have parents anymore! Not like I was any better off with them, though. They didn’t even make me dinner! And your mom asked me if i wanted dinner, and i freaked out. You were right. I was panicky, and i looked like i was going to throw up, and i freaked out.” 

Keith’s hand hit the table, though he didn’t know why. It wasn’t in anger. Maybe he was surrendering.

Any bit of anger had since left Lance’s face. It was replaced with worry, like when he was trying to get Keith’s attention during his freak out. 

“I’m not making excuses,” Keith continued, calming down a bit. “I’m not looking for sympathy or anything. What i’m trying to say is that… you were right. Every part of this is my fault. It was not fair at all to you that i was a jerk just because you happen to have things I don’t have. That’s not your fault, and i yelled at you when you were just worried. And i should’ve apologized earlier, but i just didn’t have the words. I still don’t really have them.” 

Keith looked down at his hands, which were still shaking a little. His head snapped back up when a firm hand was on his shoulder yet again. Like in the hall, Lance grasped onto Keith, his hand hard and unyielding, but this time, it wasn’t an angry gesture. 

“It’s alright,” Lance said, softness in his voice. “Don’t worry about it.” 

A deep exhale left Keith; a breath he hadn’t even realized he was holding. Half of him wanted to hit the hand off his shoulder, but the other half wanted to engulf himself in that sentiment; to lose himself in a warm touch, something he didn’t get often. 

“I was just… really worried, Keith,” Lance said. He took his hand away and leaned back in his chair. He was avoiding eye contact now. “I don’t think i realized this until i was yelling at you in the hallway, which is probably why i got so mad, but…” He trailed off, either thinking of the right words to say or trying to muster up enough courage to say them. “... We don’t hate each other, do we?” 

“No,” Keith said after a few seconds. “I don’t think we do.” 

“So… friends?” 

Keith laughed after such a tension filled few minutes ago. “What i just told you, i’ve never told to anyone, so i certainly hope we’re friends.”

“Good,” Lance said, a small smile on his lips. After such a long week of not talking, that small smile was like a breath of fresh air to Keith. “We don’t have to work at my house again, by the way. It’s okay.” 

“No, it’s not,” Keith said. “I’ll get over it. You could come over to my apartment but i think more than two people would be a fire hazard.” 

Lance cautiously laughed. “Not to ruin our moment, or whatever, but we seriously do need to finish this project.” 

“Oh, yeah.” 

The two of them took each others pulses, the air clear after so much tension. It wasn’t only about the fight being over, the fact that they were established friends after a long period of uncertainty felt like a weight off Keith’s chest. 

They recorded their data, wrote their conclusion, and finished the project. Lance was on his way and Keith got a ride back to the apartment with Shiro. 

In his bedroom, Keith forgot to close the door behind him. He didn’t need a complete shield from the universe, because now there was at least one aspect about it that was not that bad.

\---------------

A lot happens in a few months. 

Halloween had come and past, and now Christmas was on the horizon. The air had grown undeniably cold and Lance could no longer not wear a sweatshirt and pretend that he was “not even that cold!” 

Throughout the months, Lance had gone out more with Nyma after their kiss. They were now well established as girlfriend and boyfriend, and as per request, she met Lance’s mom and dad. Her and Lance went for coffee dates and stayed in at eachothers houses on most weekends, plus lots of texting and snapchats. 

Lance liked her. He hadn’t had been so sure at first, but throughout the months she had grown on him. She was fun to be around and always smelled of perfume. Her makeup was always nicely done and she always had on some stylish outfit. 

Did that help to push back the memory of the kiss with the boy at the party? Not at all. 

Another development made in the past few months was Lance’s fight then established friendship with Keith. That had been a crazy week. 

Lance had been a bit excited to have Keith over, though he didn’t know why he invited him to his house in the first place. Things were going smoothly, then Keith started freaking out.

His whole demeanor changed. His eyes were wild, his face was pale, his breathing was heavy. Every bit of him contradicted the usual stillness he portrayed and the hidden emotion beneath his eyes. Keith had looked awful, and it scared Lance. 

It scared Lance and it worried him. It really worried him, because he didn’t know what was going on and if Keith was okay or not. He tried talking to him, but it was like he was stuck in his own mind. And then he was out the door. 

The monday after that weekend, Lance asked Keith what had been up, and Keith yelled at him. The way he was yelling at him, it was like Lance had invaded his privacy or something. 

Then, Lance was yelling. He hadn’t meant to be so loud, but anger clouded him. He was so angry because at that moment, Lance realized that he did care about Keith. He didn’t know in what way, but he knew that when he thought something was wrong with Keith, his heart sank into his stomach. 

Lance yelled at him because, like Lance, Keith hadn’t realize that Lance cared about him. Lance’s worry was jenuine, but Keith pushed him away, forgetting that his freakout affected people other than himself.

For the rest of the week, Lance didn’t talk to Keith. He was furious at him. He wasn’t going to be the one to talk first and break the silence because he already said everything he had to say. It was Keith’s turn to explain himself, and so he did. 

Lance remembered feeling wordless as Keith talked, that panick back in him but a bit more controlled. He spoke like his life depended on getting his point across the Lance. 

Everything clicked once Lance knew what was up. There were still things he didn’t know, like why he lived with Shiro and what happened to his parents, but he understood his vagueness about certain things and why he didn’t but much at restaurants and the coffee shop. He understood why that measly $5 was such a big deal.

More importantly, he was starting to understand Keith himself. Why he was a loner, why he was so repressed. He had a lot to hide, or he felt that way, and that showed in his personality. 

When Keith was done talking, Lance put hand on Keith’s shoulder. He felt the boy tense up under his touch, but then he felt him relax. Just from that, he knew that Keith wasn’t very open to warm touches, and he hadn’t had one in a long time. 

Lance explained a bit more on his side, or he tried too, at least. He reached a point he had been fretting over for the two months they had known each other. 

“We don’t hate each other, do we?” He had said, that realization having been made a while back, though Lance refused to acknowledge it until then.

“No,” Keith had replied. “I don’t think we do.” 

Just a few words and so much tension was lifted. It was like seeing in a new light, and Lance felt like he could finally breathe. 

The two took each others pulses, Lance getting close to Keith and observing the scar on his eyebrow and the only slightly visible bumps on his skin. Keith couldn’t find Lance’s pulse for a few minutes and the two laughed about it. Like they were friends. 

Because, finally, that’s what they were. 

 

Keith had hung out with Lance’s friend group more ever since that very dramatic conversation in a public coffee house. He seemed to be feeling more comfortable around them all, Lance included. 

As christmas got closer, Lance planned his annual Christmas eve-eve party. At his house, two days before christmas, he and his friends would gather and do a secret santa, then they’d all sleep over. It was sort of a tradition in their friend group. There were two new people attending that year: Keith and Nyma. 

Lance had awkwardly invited Keith, his words jumbled and stuttered. “You don’t- if you don’t want to- it’s at my house, so you, you know, don’t have to come. To my house.” 

Keith had raised an eyebrow with a slight laugh. “Do you want me there or not?” 

“Well… yeah,” Lance said. “I just don’t want you to…”

“Freak out?” 

“Precisely.” 

“I’ll be fine.” 

Lance grimased again at his next question. “We do secret santa, too. You don’t have to do it or… buy us presents.” 

Keith’s smile fell a bit, but not into anger or sadness, more into realisation and understanding. “Uh, i’ll do it. I’ll make it work.” 

“Was that Project Runway quote on purpose?”

“I… don’t know what that is.”

Lance clapped his hands on both of Keith’s shoulders and steered him down the hall they were walking. “Keith, buddy, let me tell you about Project Runway, or as i like to call it, the modern day bible.”

His invite to Nyma had definitely been less awkward. 

They had been sitting on Lance’s couch together watching a movie. Lance explained the christmas tradition they had and invited her to the party. 

“Sleepover?” Nyma said with an eyebrow raised. There might’ve been a small spark of excitement in her eyes. 

“Yeah, but my mom puts the girls in separate rooms,” Lance explained. “There'll be another girl there.”

“I’ll go,” Nyma said after a few seconds. “You said there’s a secret santa? I know no one there except for you and Allura. How will I know what to get?” 

“I’ll help you out,” Lance said. “You can pick now, actually.” 

Lance ran up to his room and grabbed the hat that had all the names in it. Nyma was the last one to be invited; everyone else had already RSVPed. 

“Close your eyes and pick a name.” 

Nyma closed her eyes, showing her long, mascara defined eyelashes. Her painted fingernails ghosted over sheets of paper until finally closing her grip on one and pulling up. 

She unfolded the paper and her eyes scanned the paper. “Hunk?” She said, confusion in her voice. “Who’s that?” 

Lance smiled at the name of his friend. “That guys great. More importantly, he’s easy to buy gifts for. He’s pretty much amused by anything.” 

“What should I get him?”

“He likes mechanics. He has a big thing for school supplies. Oh, you like to cook, right?”

“A bit.” 

“Hunk loves to cook and bake.” 

Lance could almost see the ideas start rolling through Nymas head. “Okay, I can roll with that.”

She leaned to her right so that her shoulder brushed against Lance’s arm. He took that as a cue to wrap his arm around her. Nyma seemed to always lead stuff like that; little things like that were on her terms in the relationship. Lance didn’t really mind, though. Usually. 

“Have you picked your name, yet?” She asked. 

“Oh, no. I should probably do that now.” He took his arm back and shot his hand into the hat of names. He felt the names grase over his skin until he finally picked a name all the way at the bottom of the pile. 

Lance pulled it up and read it, his heart thudding when he read the slanted, distinguishable handwriting. 

“Oh, geez,” he said out loud. 

“What? Who’d you get?” 

“I can’t tell you, it’s a secret santa.” 

“You had no problem with me telling you mine.” 

“Yeah because you don’t know anyone.” 

“Just tell me!” 

“It’s not anyone you know.” 

Lance left it at that, crumpling up the paper that read “Keith” and shoving it into his pocket.

 

“Okay, gang, secret santa time,” Lance announced in biology the next day. He took out the names, which were now in a bag, for his table to choose from. “You know how this works. Do not tell anyone who you got! We don’t want a repeat of last year.” 

Pidge went first, then Hunk. Lance tried to read into their reactions, looking for some indication of who they got. You can’t blame a guy for being curious. Allura had already picked hers, so when Keith picked, there was only one name left in the bag. 

“Hm, i wonder what i’ll chose,” He said sarcastically before taking out the last piece of paper.

Lance watched as he read it. Keith kept a straight face the entire time, no emotion showing. Lance really had no idea who he got, despite trying to read every emotion and movement he showed.

The only sign he saw was a small, millisecond long smile on his lips as he dropped the paper into his backpack. 

When the two walked to their next period after biology, Keith said something pretty unexpected. 

“Do you wanna come over to my apartment this weekend?” 

“Really?” Lance said. 

“Yeah, you think i’m kidding or something?” 

“I- no, I… sure,” Lance said, taking a second to get his thoughts together. “I’ll come over.” 

“Nice,” Keith said. “It’ll be a fun experiment to see if three people can even fit into my apartment.” 

 

That weekend, Lance pulled into a city parking lot in his dad's car. Keith had given him instructions on how to get to his apartment. He walked up a small staircase that brought him into the apartment building, then he took the elevator up three floors. 

He knocked twice on apartment C17 and the door swing open not only three seconds later. 

“Lance, hi!” Shiro said energetically, indicating him to come inside. 

When Keith said his apartment was small, he really hadn’t been kidding. Just from where he was standing at the front door, Lance could see all of the Kitchen, living room, and halfway down the one hallway in the apartment. 

The kitchen had a few counters, cabinets, a small fridge, and an outdated island with two chairs. The living room had a small loveseat and an armchair. They didn’t go well together, and Lance guessed that they were from a thrift store. There was a medium sized T.V on a small coffee table as well.

Though small, the apartment wasn’t necessarily ugly. There were dark, hardwood floors, light grey walls, and black curtains on the many windows overlooking the city. The apartment looked pretty well maintained. 

“Can I get you anything? Food? A drink?” Shiro asked, slightly frantically. He was acting weird. 

“Um, i’m fine, thanks.” 

Lance was about to ask where Keith was when a door in the hall opened at the sound of voices. Keith was wearing a grey sweater and black jeans. Lance noticed then how long his hair had gotten throughout the few months they’d been at school. 

“Hey,” Keith said with a small wave. His sweater was a bit too big for him. It didn’t look bad, though.

“Hey,” Lance said back with a nod. 

Shiro’s eyes darted back and forth, then he clapped his hands and said. “Do you guys want lunch or anything?” 

Lance had already said no, Keith responded with no as well. 

“We’ll be in there,” Keith told Shiro as he started to walk to his room, Lance following. 

Once they were in Keith’s room, Keith went to close his door but Shiro said, “Door open, please,” before he could. Keith rolled his eyes and left it open. 

Keith had said that his room was basically a closet, and he was right. There was a bed, a window, and pretty much nothing else. Lance didn’t even know where the guy kept his clothes. They were either in the vague looking boxes in the corner of his room or under his bed. 

Keith looked at Lance scanning his room. “Did you think i was lying when i said it was small?”

“Hm?” Lance said, having been pulled out of this thoughts. “No… it’s not small. It’s comfy.” 

Keith snickered. “That’s just a nice word for ‘small as shit’.” 

“It’s small and it’s also comfy,” Lance compromised. 

Keith sat down on his bed and Lance followed. He leaned closer to Keith, talking in a quiet voice. “Was Shiro acting…” 

“Totally crazy?” 

“Uh, yeah.” 

“Yep,” Keith said. “Not to make you feel special or anything, but you’re kinda the only person i’ve had over here… ever.” 

“Oh,” Lance said, suddenly feeling his face get hot. “So, uh, do you know what you’re getting for your secret santa yet?” 

“I have some ideas,” Keith said. “What about you?” 

Looking around Keith’s room, he still couldn’t find anything to indicate any of Keith’s interests. Not one thing pointed to a gift he’d like. “No clue, but i’ll figure it out.” 

“Your girlfriend is going to the party, right?”

“Nyma? Yeah.” 

“Am i gonna like her?” Keith asked. 

“What are you, my mom? Does she need your approval?” 

“It wouldn’t hurt,” Keith smirked. 

“You both are either gonna kill each other on the spot or be best friends,” Lance said after thinking a bit. 

“Why?” 

“Well, on one hand she can be very blunt and occasionally rude, which is very you, but on the other hand she has every quality you hate about me.” 

“Who said I hate anything about you?” Keith asked after a few seconds, his voice holding an unexpected gentleness.

Lance felt another blush coming on. “Well this is awkward because i hate basically everything about you.” Even as a joke, Lance felt a bit guilty. “Kidding, obviously.” 

Keith laughed a bit. “Have your other friends met Nyma?” 

“They’ve seen her in passing but not much other than that.” 

“So, for once someone else will be the outsider,” Keith joked. 

Lance looked at Keith for a few seconds, but then looked away. 

“What was with that?” Keith asked. “That look.” 

“I didn’t do a look.” 

“Yeah, you did.” 

“... okay, i did. It’s just… you do realize that ‘my other friends’ are also your friends, right?”

“I don’t know… i don’t hang out with them much.” 

“Yeah, but when you do, they’re the ones that invite you. They like you, you just distance yourself.” 

Keith looked down and snickered. “When did this become a therapy session?” 

“C’mon, man, you must realize that you do that.” 

“I guess?” Keith sighed. “Not to get all deep, but i’ve just gotten used to being alone. I don’t like pushing my shit on other people, and I don’t like people knowing my shit either. It’s just easier to be alone at this point.” 

Lance was about to tell Keith about what an idiot he was until it struck him. He knew what to get him for secret santa. 

“You do you, man,” was all Lance said back. He changed the subject. “You should let me decorate this room. I could do a lot with it.” 

“What are you, an interior decorator?” 

“Well, i have watched a lot of property brothers in my day. But seriously, a string of lights would look so nice against the dark walls. Put up some pictures, you don’t even have curtains on your windows for god's sake.” 

“I like my room how it is. And you’re literally just describing your own room.”

“What’s wrong with my room?” 

“You have so much… stuff. It’s overwhelming.” 

“Having some stuff isn’t bad,” Lance said. “It wouldn’t kill you to like… put a dresser in here. Speaking of stuff, what’s in those boxes?” 

“Oh… just stuff,” He said. 

Lance got up to check them out, but before he got even two steps towards them, Keith called out. 

“No!” He said. It wasn’t angry, more frantic. “I mean… uh, can you not open those, please?” 

“Oh, sure. Sorry,” Lance said, his palms held up as he sat back down on Keith’s bed. 

“It’s… whatever. Uh, do you want me to bring anything to your house for the party?” He asked, changing the subject. 

“No… you’re fine. You can come over a bit early if you want to help cook.” 

“Me? Help cook?” 

“Hunk will be there, so we can just sit and watch him and my mother cook,” Lance said with a smirk. 

“Sounds good.” 

“Sounds good.” 

\------------

Keith and Lance stood together awkwardly as Hunk and Lance’s mom talked in some foreign language about cooking. As the two watched them cook, they made sly comments about everything they didn’t understand. 

“Do you really understand what ‘paprika’ is?” Lance asked Keith.

Keith shrugged. “I know the name, and i know i’ve tasted it before, but i have no idea what exactly it is.” 

“Come help me set up. People are getting here soon,” Lance said. 

He and Keith put up streamers and layed out plates. Keith had been over twice since he and Lance had become established friends, and he had gotten over the initial shock of the differing lives he and Lance had, and how Lance pretty much had the life he dreamed of. Still, he couldn’t help but think, “Wow…” everytime taped a streamer to some delicate, old wood mantel of the McClains. 

Through the months, Keith got a lot closer with Lance than he’d expected. The two still had little fall outs but nothing too bad. They both understood each other, and they talked about things they wouldn’t talk about with other people. 

Shiro was also ecstatic. Keith was worried he would pass out from excitement when Lance visited his apartment. Now he was at a christmas eve-eve party with a big group of people. It was almost like Keith could hear the constant sigh of relief coming out of Shiro, his loner, pent up, angry and traumatized godson having finally gotten a friend. 

“Keith, can you get the door?” Lance asked, the doorknob having been rung.

Keith opened up the big, fancy door, to see Allura and Pidge. They both held presents. Keith welcomed them inside and Lance directed them to the present table. 

“What are they making in there?” Allura asked, gesturing to the Kitchen where Hunk and Lance’s mom were still cooking away. 

“I don’t know,” Lance said simply. “I guess we’ll find out.” 

They all sat on the couch and talked about the work they had over the winter break, which had just started that day. Keith didn’t talk much, like usual, but Lance usually roped him into the conversations. 

After about a half an hour of that, the doorbell rang again. There was only one person not there, so they knew who it was. Lance got up and opened the door. Keith could see the front door a little bit from where they were sitting, but they were kind of far away. 

Keith saw a glimpse of a girls head at the door, then he saw her and Lance kiss, and Keith suddenly felt a deep need to look away. He did, and as he did he thought about what Lotor had said about Lance and what he had done at a certain party. 

A few seconds later and Lance walked to where they were all sitting, his girlfriend trailing behind her. She was pretty. Keith didn’t know much about Lance’s ‘type’ but if he had to guess, she looked exactly like what his type was. Feminine, pretty, confident. 

“Everyone, this is Nyma. Nyma this is everyone. You know Allura. There’s Pidge and Keith. Hunk is in the kitchen.” 

“Hey,” Pidge said. 

“Hi,” Allura said. 

Keith said nothing. 

The group continued with what they were doing, plus their new member. Nyma sat on the floor along with Lance. Keith was in an armchair and Allura and Pidge were on the couch. 

Keith didn’t talk again and Lance tried to rope him in a few times again. Keith was a bit too busy studying him and Nyma, though. There was something weird about them. It was like there was a constant, wordless fight between them. A pull for power. 

Lance would put his hand over Nymas, then she’d pull away. A few minutes later Nyma would put her hand on Lances shoulder and he’d scooch away a bit. They talked over each other and rarely too each other.

Maybe Keith was reading too much into it, but he also knew that Lance rarely talked about Nyma and in their few months of dating this was the first time he introduced her to his friends.

Even with whatever dynamic they had, Keith still spotted the two kissing in corners throughout the house. They were weird. Maybe Keith just didn’t get relationships. 

Another half an hour later and they were all gathered around the dining table, food spread out all across the table. Lance’s siblings were sleeping over at a friends house and Lance’s mom and dad only appeared for a few seconds. 

The food was great. Lance’s mom made an assortment of cuban food with names Keith would sound like an idiot if he tried to pronounce, and hunk made a mixture of american and samoan food that was equally good.

It was a great atmosphere all around. They all laughed and ate and talked. It was something that seemed so normal but was something Keith never experienced. His heart was heavy as he looked at the people around him. Not with jealousy, though, with appreciation.

Once dinner was over, the gang made their way up to Lance’s room. They all sat on the floor in a circle, all their presents in the middle. The atmosphere was full of excitement and anticipation. 

They went in a circle, starting with Hunk. In his gift was a few handwritten recipes and a new set of measuring cups. 

“I don’t recognise this handwriting, so i’m gonna say… Nyma,” he guessed. 

“Guilty,” Nyma responded with a smile. 

Hunk told her how much he loved it and how he looked forward to trying out the recipes.

After him went Allura. She got a new pair of earrings and a giftcard to a local bookstore. She guessed Pidge, and she was right. 

Next was Nyma. She got a mascara, a new notebook, and a pair of fuzzy socks. “I don’t know anyone here so i’m just gonna guess Lance?” 

“Nope,” Lance said. 

“It was me,” Allura announced. 

Lance went next, and Keith held his breath as he opened the black bag that had Lance’s name on it. Out he pulled a slim, blue thermos. 

“Oh sweet,” Lance said, “Now I can drink more coffee than i usually do, and that’s saying something.” 

Next he pulled out a tube of peach lotion. Keith remembered Lance saying that peach was one of his favorite scents and fruits. 

“Someone might have to physically restrain me from drinking this,” Lance exclaimed. 

Last was Keith’s favorite, but it was the one he was most nervous for. Lance pulled out an old but unused journal. It’s cover was a dark brown leather. There was a flap that closed and secured the journal. On the top right corner of the book was a printed gladiolus flower.

Lance opened it and his eyes scanned the first page. He didn’t read it outloud, but Keith knew what it said. “Write here about what you don’t tell other people; you deserve a clear mind.” 

Keith knew that Lance would know from his distinguishable handwriting who gave him the present, but Keith didn’t care. The message was more important than the mystery. 

Keith was worried that Lance would get mad at the message; that he’d think Keith overstepped his bounds. Instead, his eyes got deep and wistful. He locked eyes with Keith from across the circle, and there was understanding there. 

“This is Keith’s,” Lance asked, no uncertainty in his voice. 

Keith broke eye contact. “Uh, yeah.” 

That was all they said, their friends watching the conversation with confusion on their faces. 

Pidge was next. She got some coding books and a giftcard for a video game store. She guessed Hunk and got it right. 

Keith’s heart jumped when he realized that he was the last person and there was only one person who could be his secret santa.

The group made “I wonder who got you!” jokes as Lance played along with them. 

Keith took out items carefully, as if defusing a bomb. It made him uncomfortable that all eyes were on him. 

The first item were glittery bobby pins as a gag gift. 

Keith snorted with a smile. “Really?” 

“Yeah, what jerk of a secret santa would get such a mean present?” Lance said, jokingly acting offended. 

Next was a box of plastic stars and planets. Lance explained that they were glow in the dark and you’re supposed to stick them to the ceiling of your room so you can look up at them when your lights are off. “Just a subtle bit of decor,” Lance said. “Something i thought we could compromise on.” 

Last was a bracelet. It looked a bit like some of the ones Lance wore everyday. It was woven brown leather, but there were streaks of red in it along with silver beads. It was gorgeous. Keith didn’t really get why Lance got them for him, though. 

Keith said thanks to Lance and told him he liked the gifts, which he did. He noticed that Lance looked a bit nervous, though. 

Once everyone got to talking and the focus on presents began to dissipate, Lance announced that he was going downstairs to get drinks for everyone. 

“Keith, come help me,” he said. 

“Fine.” 

As the two walked downstairs and the sounds of the talking company in Lance’s room disappeared in the distance, Lance looked even more nervous. Keith suspected that Lance had plotted to finally kill Keith and now he was going through with it. 

Before they got to the kitchen, Lance halted Keith. 

“There’s, uh, a part of your present i didn’t give to you up there,” he said. “It has to do with the bracelet.” 

Lance took out a piece of paper from his pocket. It was folded four times.

“Read it now,” Lance said. He grabbed a pack of waters and started for the stairs before he stopped for a second. “I, uh, really liked your gift by the way. Especially the journal.” Then he left Keith. 

With nervous hands, Keith unfolded the paper. On it was a paragraph covering half the page in Lance’s handwriting. With it being night out, there wasn’t much light where he was. He turned on a lamp and read it under there. 

Keith,  
I know we’re both not too big on the whole ‘sharing our emotions’  
thing, so sorry if this is weird and sappy. When i was over at your  
apartment, you told me that it’s easier to be alone. I didn’t tell you   
this then, but that’s the stupidest bull shit i’ve ever heard. You’re   
used to being alone. It’s what you know. But you need to unlearn   
that. Letting people in is not something i specialize in either, but  
I also know that having people in your life makes it better. It might   
not be easy sometimes, but it’s better. I don’t think it’s dawned on   
you that there’s people who care about you in your life right now.   
My friends- your friends- they care about you. Shiro really cares  
about you. Although i wouldn’t have guessed this when we first met  
… i care about you. You’re a great friend, Keith. At this point you’re   
Probably thinking ‘ew, Lance, stop talking about your emotions. It’s   
too out of character’ so i’ll get to my point now. I want you to look   
at this bracelet and remember that it’s from someone who’s there   
for you. Because i am. There for you, i mean. I think you need a   
reminder of that sometimes. You don’t have to wear the bracelet.   
I wont be mad if you don’t. Just remember what it stands for. You’ve  
got friends now, Keith. Don’t forget that.   
Your local beauty,   
Lance. 

Keith read the letter. Then he read it again. Then he read it again. Then he just held it. Then he felt like crying. Then he did cry a bit. Then he waited until his eyes were dry and went back upstairs. 

He entered Lance’s room. No one questioned where he was; Keith guessed that Lance made up some lie. 

Everyone was too deep into their conversations to pay much attention to what Keith was doing. Lance looked at him from across the room, a bit of vulnerability in his eyes. 

While he knew Lance was still watching, Keith grabbed his bag and pulled out the leather bracelet. He put it on his right wrist and tied it tightly, making sure it wasn’t going anywhere. 

He looked back up at Lance, and again there was deep understanding in both of their eyes. Keith's heart started to beat faster the longer he looked at Lance, his ocean blue eyes striking on his already striking face. 

That’s when Nyma physically pulled Lance back into her conversation. Keith didn’t care much, though. He walked over to where people were talking and took a few seconds to look at all of them and appreciate them. 

After some movies, the gang went to bed. Pidge, Allura, and Nyma slept downstairs as Hunk, Lance, and Keith slept upstairs. 

In the morning, they all had breakfast and talked in groggy, sleep filled voices. 

Keith was the first one to leave. As the others stayed in the kitchen, Lance walked him out. Before leaving, Lance pointed at Keith’s wrist. “I like your bracelet. Where’d you get it?” 

“Oh, just some guy,” Keith said, and then he hugged Lance. He hadn’t planned on it, he just did. 

Lance tensed up a bit under Keith’s grasp, but then he relaxed. Lance was warm, and he spelled like coffee, and Keith lost himself in his grip. 

Finally, the two separated after some ‘macho’ pats on the backs. They both cleared their throats and looked away. 

“Uh, i’ll see you,” Keith said, and then he left. 

Shiro asked how the party was on the ride home, and Keith gave simple answers. He wasn’t really paying attention. 

When he got home he went to his bedroom and closed the door. Without missing a beat, he took out the box of stars and planets and attached them to his ceiling by standing on his bed. 

He took out the folded letter from Lance, and still folded, he pinned it to his wall next to his bed. 

Keith laid down on his bed. He looked at the stars overhead. He looked at his bracelet and letter. He remembered the hug and how right it felt. 

“I want you to look at this bracelet and remember that it’s from someone who’s there for you. Because i am. There for you, i mean. I think you need a reminder of that sometimes,” The letter had said. Lance had said

Keith smiled, and he put his arm over his eyes as he sobbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :'''') i love the ending sm kjfsf
> 
> Pleaasseee tell me what you think! feedback is what keeps me writing and comments (especially long ones) here or on my tumblr make me so happy! Show your love with kudos and Bookmark or subscribe to get the next chapter!
> 
> Ik this chapter ended pretty lightheartedly but things... kinda start falling apart for Keith and Lance next chapter. I have regents testing so again it might take me a while to upload. See you then!
> 
> Tumblr: [Lanceisthebest](https://lanceisthebest.tumblr.com/)


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